What better way to end the year on a comical note? So what if we are hurt by the laceration of political sarcasm, the major political parties will not stop from humoring us to death. What can be more sadistically pleasurable than humiliating the common sense of the common man by repeatedly mocking at his intellect?
Why, you ask?
Well, let me start with the awesomely funny holier than thou attitude. When both BJP and the Congress piously trade charges of corruption and mismanagement, it is obvious that both are the same sides of the political coin. The debate is more mirthful than malicious. Flip the coin and the magical zeroes of corruption might vary but the story remains the same. Let’s stop this hypocrisy of who is more corrupt. This charade of exposing the corrupt has become a big joke. Knowing well that both are in bed with each other, the joke is not even amusing.
This sham of raids under media pressure is again a hilarious stunt. The CWG games were over on the October 14, 2010. CBI raided Kalmadi on December 24, 2010. We get the humor. Ha, ha. A Raja emerged smiling after CBI ostensibly grilled him for 9 hours. Maybe the CBI was grilling chicken tikka and sharing jokes with Raja. Of course the joke was on us. We get it.
Ha, ha, again.
My belly hurts when both parties are accused of misappropriation of funds, privileges or power, and the reply is, “They also did the same during their regime.” Two wrongs do not make a right. We know that. So please do not kill us with the same buffoonery. Try something else. Use your ingenuity.
Superficial wounds heal. But deeper wounds leave scars; scars which become sick metaphors for decades to come. Fodder, Bofors, Adarsh and 2G might not land anyone in jail, yet these words have become witty invectives.
The Mumbai attack on 26/11 was a deep wound. You were unable to bring the perpetrators to justice. Fine. But please don’t burst into guffaws over the memory of those who lost their lives on that fateful day.
Come on, tell me, what was a certain spokesperson for the government doing? In fact, every few days he opens his big mouth with his foot in it, giving ludicrous statements. If you endorse his preposterous comments then come out in the open and say it. If not, shut his big mouth with some red tape. You can’t accuse him of naiveté. He transgresses the limits of tolerance of the officer’s wife who lost his life, that fateful day. Greed for power can make you stoop to levels where you start giving color to terror? Even a child can tell you that terror is neither green nor saffron. If at all terror is red; the color of blood. So do not divide and drool. It doesn’t work anymore.
The irony is that some section of the media is also privy to your private humor. Stop the hypocrisy of hyperventilating for the cause of the common man. Most news is planted and paid for the sake of magical TRPs. Why garb your debates in the guise of social cleansing? Plan your maneuvers, get paid by the lobbyists, plant news and play your role in appointing ministers. Be brazen about it. Just don’t fool us. The stench emanating from the pretense of taking cudgels for the common man is nauseating.
For some reason if I am unable to pay my income tax, house tax or home loan, I will be punished promptly. If I do not have my pollution certificate or registration papers in my car, I might land in jail. Why not exculpate me?
Let’s strike a deal here. If you have the knack of cracking jokes, you should also have the courage to chuckle at my wise cracks. How about mutual banter? Some rib tickling humor. I will not ask you uncomfortable questions and you do not punish me for my innocuous crimes. Let’s all be corrupt. It will be awesomely funny start to the New Year.