Monday, September 13, 2010

A Suitable Girl

A SUITABLE GIRL


There is this boy (read foreign delegate), coming to see an Indian girl on October the 3rd 2010. Now here lies the irony. At the moment, the girl in question is not in the best of health and is in a desperate need of a makeover.

Over the years she has put on oodles of weight of corruption, she has ugly scars of neglect, dreadful moles of apathy and her complexion has blemishes of black wheeling dealing. Every monsoon she suffers from recurrent fever of various origins. Since this malaise has infected her for years her parents are worried. Make no mistake, it’s not her fault. She is an interesting girl, with a colorful personality and a beautiful Indian heart. It’s just that her parents Ms. S. Dixit and Mr. J. Reddy have been too busy pursuing their self interests that the girl needs a drastic makeover a la Oprah style.

Now that the D day is so dreadfully close her parents are obviously worried. For the sake of the prestige of the girl you ask? Nah….In fact they are nervous wrecks for the fact that they might not be appointed as her guardians after the next elections. Mulling over the issue for months over endless cups of tea the parents decided to book the best beauty parlour in town for a revolutionary revolution. The beautician a certain Ms Kala- madi seized the opportunity with both hands and legs too. Though difficult, involving several sessions, the job promised an opportunity to add magical zeroes to the slumping fortunes of his dilapidated parlor.

Poor girl! Tsk…tsk..She was made to quaff several bitter pills to become shapely and appealing. A few silicone implants of stadium constructions, Botox sessions of road widening and tummy tucks of trial traffic runs, the results were heartening. Not to mention a few gold facials to remove the ugly scars in the form of construction debris defacing the flawless complexion and etiquette classes for the Delhi police to deal gracefully with the boy’s family.

On the eventful day the boy in question arrived with his family all eager and hopeful of an enriching experience of meeting this Incredible girl. And surprise…surprise; he fell madly in love with the engrossing show, the colorful costumes, and amazing hospitality. Only, the boy did not marry the girl but promised to return soon to take back his Dulhaniya.

Never mind a surprise visit a fortnight later the boy was in for a rude shock. This was not the girl he saw on his earlier visit. The girl had put on weight of fraud, was sick with dengue, scarred with monsoons and turned schizophrenic due to traffic jams. Worse the blemishes of beggars on her pretty face harassed him day and night.



The boy left back hurriedly, returning with the memories of a lovely damsel he had met earlier.

Monday, September 6, 2010

BY CHANCE OR BY DESIGN

BY CHANCE OR BY DESIGN




From an Indian perspective the very thought that God did not create our Universe seems sacrilegious. In his new book, The Grand Design, renowned British physicist, Stephen Hawking did just that. Going by his words, “It is not necessary to invoke God to light the blue touch paper and set the Universe going,” Universe was created by chance. The laws of gravity substantiate his claim. On the other hand famous author Paulo Coelho of the bestselling novel, ‘The Alchemist’ says, “Nothing in this world happens by chance.” Now I am confused. That’s enough of dharma sankat for me! By chance, by Big Bang, or by design? I do not know. What I know is that the entire Delhi administration is counting on Him. If there is no God, who will save our face during the Con Games? Also, every time we fumble we need divine intervention. First we pray for rains to come and then we pray for rains to go away during the games because we were not ready. We just can’t leave HIM alone can we?
And to think that no one is watching us, is a scary scenario.After all most of us have created ruckus when teacher was not watching or jumped red lights in the absence of a traffic policeman. So if no one is watching our moves there are bound to be dramatic effects. But the consequences are only for the common people, the cattle class. Our netas are least bothered about HIS existence. They pursue self interests with dedicated doggedeness, irrespective of HIS watchful eyes.The moment one rises out of a scam, another falls with twice the thud. Only to get up, wash the dust in the eyes of semi blind nation and continue with impunity.

Thank God, Mr. Hawking has generalized his statement by not mentioning the names of Gods. Had he named a few, his book would be the most controversial thing, given the Indian predilection for discussing controversies.
Take faith and religion away and we find no reason for our existence. From our festivals to food, religion is a way of life. So as you read Hawking's book you scratch your head wondering, if God did not mother us billions of years ago, who did? Most definitely not Adam and Eve? “That story is a load of crap,” my ten year old nephew tells me.

Faith is so deep rooted in our life that drives us, motivates us and in fact, is the reason for our happiness in spite of all the misery. Climbing uphill barefoot, waiting in queues for the holy prasadam, fasting and sacrificing are all different facets of our life. All linked to faith.

Never mind. God might not have existed according to science but faith in God exists. How can He not exist? For if He does not exist, surely how can we?

With all due respect to Mr Hawking as a physicist, he better keep mum on his book launch in India or find his own way to Nirvaana.