Friday, April 15, 2011

FAST AND FURY

An Open Letter by the Politicians to the Civil Society

Dear Civil Society,

This letter sincerely urges you to stop flirting with Anna and his Axe effect. An old man has captured the sentiment and spun it brilliantly. In fact he should participate in elections. But he won’t. Because then he will become us and you will hate him in equal measure.

How can you, the educated society, fall for this uneducated man? He left school after class VII and joined army just before the 1962 China War. He was shunted off to the border after he had taken on his superiors over corruption in civil supplies. That this man is a potential trouble maker and loose cannon, we should have known.

Let us come to your stage managed ‘page three’ movement. Being argumentative by nature, the cacophony of diverse voices will take the sting out of your unity. As long as swamis use your stage for yogic…oops political postures, we are safe. Also this fastocracy doesn’t work. Remember what happened to K Chandrashekhar Rao who was on a fast unto death for Telangana. See what we did to him. Bring on any law and we will unleash Sibal, Singhvi and Jaitly to unearth loopholes. We have entrusted the task of smearing reputations of your 'so called' honest leaders with wily spin doctors, Shri Kamar Singh ji and Shri Bigdijay Singh ji. They are veterans at throwing muck and hopefully some of it will stick.




So far, you have been regular tax payers, rule abiders, and Indian ambassadors abroad. You continue to pour your angst on facebook. Who is stopping you? Press the dislike button for us as many times you like. But why take to the streets? This is mobocracy. Isn’t there any difference between Tikait the Jat agitation leader and educated professionals like yourself?

Okay, so you are upset that there are no TV sets, cows, and mixer grinders for you. But do you come to vote? No na? No votes, no cash. This is democracy. Remember how you held candle light vigils in Mumbai after 26/11 and yet refused to vote six months later? Respected members of your civil society lost their deposits. Our power to molest democracy comes from your silence. And God knows how we love you for your silence. Muah!
A bottle of liquor is what it takes to buy a vote. Of course from your tax paid money. So what? Robin Hood did the same. We use what works. Money in Tamil Nadu, Violence in Bengal. This is democracy. When our clever minister said that 2G was a zero-sum loss and not 30,984 crore loss, you did not believe him. So we made him the new telecom minister. Our intentions were crystal clear when we made the same clever minister a member of the committee meant to provide teeth to the Lok Pal Bill. We are sure he will chew it to bits. This is democracy.
Some of you are saying that shaming the government is as easy as making a stripper blush. You think you can shame us? When we can chew fodder meant for cows, when we can grab houses meant for war widows and when we can manage a coffin scam, you sincerely think we are ashamed? Sorry! The gimmick by that ‘Cheeky Chetan’ of writing ‘Mera neta chor hai’ on his arm has upset Shri Pawar ji and Shri Karunanidhi ji so much that now they are contemplating writing, ‘Meri janta chor hai.’ How’s that for a tit for tat?

To set the record straight, we have as much disdain for the C word as everyone else. But so far we have been equal partners in crime. The only debatable factor has been the magical zeroes. You do 10 we do 10000000….Rightfully. Since we are mass leaders. Let us explain. In any business deal the politician gets only 15 percent and the entire chunk goes to the businessman. Did we ever go on a hunger strike? No na? You don’t need large sums of money, we do. You abet the corrupt practices of business and then enjoy the spoils of it. This is not done!

So even if you get your kicks by lampooning us, stop calling us corrupt for we are merely your reflections. We are not corrupt; incompetent maybe. Having said that we strongly believe that two wrongs always make a right. If one political party makes a mistake we follow suit. Same to same.

Finally we can debate this bill for another 42 years. It is debatable. After all what is 42 years in the life of a democracy? An Amul Baby!
Lage raho! Together we will take this nation somewhere. This is democracy.

Jai Hind

35 comments:

  1. What you said is absolutely right. I loved the post...a realistic sarcasm. Just read about Iomee Sharma today. A soul we ignored

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  2. Love the sarcastic blow on the face of democracy and our politicians. :)

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  3. Whoa! What an open letter. Felt the heat and the anger with every word. Sounds exactly like the spokespersons of the various parties. And yes, together we will take this country somewhere -- to the dogs :(

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  4. :) lovely open letter .. an the anger is seen I wish I WISH a day comes ,, JUST ONE day when each and every citizen or people who love india feel this.. IF it happens for ONE day Imagine what a BIllion Strong army can do in a few hours.. These Chors wont finda place to HIDE and thats what is needed a DHAMAKA to make the deaf HEAR.

    I always say every politcian is same no matter what good they do end of the day they all have done some sort of compromise .. somewhere no one is without a skeleton in the cupboard..


    Bikram's

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  5. WoW...that was a gr8 post...loved it...u hit it on the right spot....

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  6. Alka,

    Nice post. It is funny and sarcastic...

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  7. Great post ma'am. The line Anna and his Axe effect was a great pun.

    Chetan Bhagat tweeted "Mera Neta Chor Hai" but my brother tweeted something much more interesting, "Mera Neta Whore Hai" :P

    Amul Baby will definitely outshine India and will notch the great Indian democracy.

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  8. @Jon...Thanks.

    @Rachit...people had said everything about it. I had no choice but to use sarcasm....:)


    @Zephyr....Another 42 yrs, to the dogs surely.

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  9. @Bikram...True. The anger is deep seated more so due to everyday revelation of scams.

    @SUB....Thanks for reading:)

    @A...:)

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  10. @Prateek....lol...Unfortunate reality though!
    Amul baby is conveniently silent on the issue, I wonder why.

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  11. Loved the post, Alka. There is a award for you on my blog.

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  13. What A post!! All d resentment and suppressed anger came out as i read it...This is democracy definitely!
    and neta ab itne bade chor hain that nothing works in front of them..neither fastocracy nor mobocracy!

    sarah

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  14. Let's hope something good comes out of this movement!!

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  15. You are spot on bout the politicians being our reflection...they were taking 15% long before Anna Hazare and we did turn blind eye but now it has reached mammoth proportions...60,ooo crore is zero sum loss to the exchequerer cause it was done in the interest of the people.This is not done...Nice post reflective and stinging

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  16. What u hav said is unfortunate but true.

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  17. @Rachna....Thanks, it means a lot.


    @Sarah....You have said it.


    @Giribala....Amen!

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  18. @Perception...Am glad you liked it.


    @Ria..Thanks for reading. Where are u? With hubby or in laws?

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  19. If it were up to me, I'd elect this very neta who could dare to speak in this way, with such frankness. I won't mind if you eat 10,000 and yet deliver what you promise. Though if you didn't it would have been good, but if you deliver what you have promised, I won't mind that 10,000 in your safe.

    Nice read.

    Cheers
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  20. The present political set up in power at center is playing havoc with India and it's democracy.

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  21. Brilliantly expressed...Each line felt like a stinging slap but then are netas have the thickest skin, don't they!!

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  22. @Anshul....Deliver and deliver on time.


    @BKC....True.



    @Purba...The height was appointing Sibal, Pawar and Moily on the Lok Pal drafting committee.And now the smear campaign against Prashant Bhushan has begun. Next in line is Kejriwal.

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  23. Alka,

    A very hard hitting factual post. Awakening call to all of us for using our right to vote and also begin with ourselves to be corruption free.

    Take care

    PS : Looking for your views on my post.

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  24. Thats what i call is a mouth shutting post! Seriously we need to get it posted in magazine or other mass media. Ppl should read this and wake up.. Atleast now. The silence of janta is their power! Amazingly amazing! Will share it on fb asap. Thats least i can do.

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  25. BRAVO!!!!

    was hot with rage frothing at eery word!
    brilliant!

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  26. @Jack...Sure. Thanks for reading.


    @Sakshi...Welcome here on Freebird.


    @Deepika...Appreciate it.Thanks u.

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  27. @Magic eye...Deepak, it means a lot. THANKS!

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  28. Hi Alka,
    Great post and very catchy writing.

    One thing I have to say is that every post that we like or every neta we dislike give a +1 to the spirit against corruption. If Mahatma Gandhi could get 30cr people to one stage without fb, imagine what Anna can do with it ;)

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  29. Good post full of positive sarcasm ... Loved it. This is democrazy ssly !

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  30. Yes, 'democracy' and 'Hind' have become synonyms for corruption. You have pulled your masterpiece to end on a terrific note. Somehow, I always had doubts on the success of Anna's efforts. A 24 carat post.

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  31. good letter
    touching few truths

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  32. @Ashwini....Thanks.


    @Mayank... the sarcasm flew unabated...perhaps there is so much anger within against neta log.

    @uspandey...THANK U. Waiting for a post from u. Year ending is over now..

    @sm...:)Thanks.

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  33. well said ..good narration as always

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