Tuesday, June 3, 2014

All Good All Modi-fied


All Good.
Now that our descent into banana republic-dom has been arrested, there is nothing much to write about. We are hanging in a zen like space, holding on to our hopes, giving enough time for Modi Ji to take us to the promised utopia land. Land where Arnab telecasts live charity events, where Nawaaz and Modi play golf together, where Jaya and Mamata attend kitty parties, and where Rajan and Jaitley have enough time to visit a disc.
Until then, the media mavens sit uneasy. All the talk about Achche Din has knocked their socks off. The pool of those they lampooned is now a mere puddle. And in the puddle is a long nosed CM whose daddy believes that raping minors is as minor as stealing candy. Other than goonda raaj in UP, things are pretty much quiet.
Looks like Achche Din are actually Bure Din for the jhola chaap microphone wielding enthusiasts. Prior to the election season, they fed us with so much bad news that it almost became addictive. The bad news provided a justification for the idea that the world is full of big problems and bad people. Bechaara Arnab. So tickled was he by the controversies, that the lull after the storm is threatening his rozi roti. With Nawaz planting a friendly peck on Modi's diplomatic cheek, any slanging match between Zafar Hilaly and Maroof Raza on television lacks punch. Consequently, his rival, Rajdeep, is on a long leave after Mukesh Ambani takes over IBN News Network. Shekhar Gupta, the editor-in-chief quit the Indian Express too. That Rajdeep and Sagarika fade away along with the Congress, says a lot about the media independence. Read Here

With the bogey of secularism buried for now, there isn’t much for Barkha Dutt to nibble away. What is left for political observers to observe when Rahul's own party men call him a clown? Mayawati is not contesting by-elections, Jayalalitha is not sulking, Mamata is celebrating, Nitish is in Switzerland (cold chamber, I mean). And since the leader of opposition is a remote controlled mute operator, parliament is unlikely to witness any fireworks. All good. All Modi-fied.
And no faux pas at Cannes either. Even Aishwarya won accolades for her svelte appearance.Worse, the IPL ended without any  controversy of slapping, doping, and betting. Worse still, SRK and Priety hugged and posed for pictures after a thrilling final. Arrey, even my maid did not take a single leave this month. Batao?How boring is that!
So in the absence of controversial political storms, TV channels lapped up the dust storms in Delhi. Abhi Toofaan Baaki Hai. DIlli Ko Dehla Degi Yeh Aandhi. I call it media terrorism. Create fear. Create anger. And thrive on the demand for dissatisfaction.
From a critique’s perch, I shall wait for Kejriwal to find his groove, Mani Shankar to bounce back, KRK to return to India and marry Karan. And Rahul to give his second interview on woman empowerment.
Enhanced by Zemanta

53 comments:

  1. Back here after long and simply loved the post, as always! :) For me, achche din already aa gaye since SRK's team won the IPL! :)
    Lack of controveries mean we the bloggers have nothing to write satires on- No? Haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So good to see you Akanksha. True, not much masaala for pen wielding enthusiasts either.

      Delete
  2. Your post resonated so well with my thoughts these days. Other than the dust storm, nothing newsworthy has happened over the past few days. Maybe people are waiting for the dust to settle down (in Delhi and elsewhere) to start making news again :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The lull before the storm. Hopefully not. Lets begin to enjoy the good news.

      Delete
  3. What a delightful and fun read! Really the jholawallas are so without a job these days! I don't watch TV news, but it is good to know that I am not missing out on any drama :) Reminds me of something my father used to say often - no news is good news :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. Sometimes I wonder if we really need 24/7 news telecast.

      Delete
  4. So true! :) When I read about Rajdeep quitting, these were some of the thoughts that made way to my mind.. you are right sometimes I wonder if Media wants unrest, the terrorism and the rape... because they have no clue what else to do otherwise. Sad! Did you read UP CMs latest? Google around, rape happens everywhere!
    Loved the way you put it across... I doubt anyone else could have done this justice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seeta, amazing how you sum it up so well. You seem to know what I wish to say.

      Delete
  5. Come to Jaatland of Haryana, no electricity after the storm. No television either. We have actually discovered the joy of conversation since our inverters and laptops have died out with no hope of charging them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But no electricity is not sensational enough to debate. Rapes, jibes, counter jibes make the debates spicy.

      Delete
  6. I hope there are "achhe din" from here on as well...this does sound like a lull before the storm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Frankly, Kajal, the lull is a pleasant change after all the slanging matches.

      Delete
  7. hahha
    True . Media is impacted a lot with no much spice. But looks like toofan and no power is creating a storm in capital city :(
    btw that is cute SRK pic ;) <3

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ah! Let us hope that the lull does not provoke them into creating a storm :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You said it. Else they will create a storm somehow.

      Delete
  9. As always a post filled with puns and punches. But one line about the maid made the maximum impact today :). I am keenly awaiting the achche din for the country. Clearly the bure din have gone on for too long!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought as much. That the maid will catch your eye considering how much you are missing her.
      :) creditable that you managed to take time to read this post.

      Delete
  10. Anything is possible but maid not taking 'chutti' is really unbelievable. Agar aisa hota hai toh really acche din aaye hai. :):):)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha, what can I say. Mere Achche Din To Aa Gaye. For this month at least. :)

      Delete
  11. I join in the rally for acche din cause after reading news that gives goose bumps, we should taste the flavor of good (hak to banta hein)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Couldn't connect the other day Ruchira. My loss. Next time. And thanks for reading.

      Delete
  12. Kindly give me the number of your Maid. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that she is a star, I have to guard her with my life.
      No maid poaching please. Thank you.
      :)

      Delete
  13. LOL...your maid did not take even a day's leave this month....Arnab, are you listening? That is breaking news man! Alka tumhare acche din toh aa gaye :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha...And Gurgaon bloggers are already asking me to give her number!

      Delete
  14. Achche dino ka hi wait hai bas Alka!

    Dekho, I came back! Couldn't resist the charm of your writing really :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's the other way round Naina. Saw you on my blog and decided to write again.
      Thank you sweetie.

      Delete
  15. Oh I think the rampant rape cases which keep on getting gruesome by the day are keeping the journos on their toes! Ache din kab aayenge..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My hunch is that they decide to highlight one issue and all the channels hang on to the same news. Seems as if nothing else is happening in the country. While it is good to keep the UP govt on its toes, too much negativity is hurting our global image. International media is calling us the rape capital.

      Delete
  16. smart summing up of our current affairs with ZEN :)) Media men are biting all the twenty plus nails without know how to make sensation out of this 'Zensation' :))

    ReplyDelete
  17. it's after a long time that media is quite. No clown, no mute mantri. But then they would find some thing or the other, after all unki rozi roti ka sawal hai. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Media well what can i say about media.. it is media who has helped the new govt so much in winning..

    I wish media was actually truthful and the journalists who go on and onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn how they are right actually did some work rather than making news SANSANIKHEZ with lies and made up words..

    Glad media is quite , i guess it works in favour of our nation .. at least now the common man doesnot have to run after lies :)

    Bikram

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Enough of Sansani last year. Lets focus on the positives.

      Delete
  19. Honestly, I am loving this lull. There was so much noise on TV in those days that my ears hurt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. Though they are trying their best to create outrage by sensationalizing the rapes.

      Delete
  20. Arnab is soon going to call you for an interview and ask ' you did not give your maid a single leave this month ? Can you explain why. No forget the fact that she did not want one. Blah blah blah' Careful, Alka :D

    ReplyDelete
  21. News traders are out of business.More so as Modi had instructed his party not to react to opposition jibes and continue working.
    What is churning within media houses is so clear.
    Let us wait for some more storms in next few weeks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, the lull before the storm. Hope it stays for as long as possible.

      Delete
  22. Great post Alka ! We are all Modi-fied now waiting for the achche din.. Hope we never get Modi-fried :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Yes ... I too am looking forward to whatever you mentioned in your concluding line :p

    ReplyDelete
  24. I just imagined Jaya and Mamata playing Tambola. :D

    Lucky you, your maid is a saint. No leave, I mean this is a luxury by all standards. On a very very serious note, no speech from Rahul, please.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Alka, I can just imagine all the scenarios you mentioned. Some of them don't make for pretty visions. Lucky you, your maid didn't take a single leave in one month.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Meanwhile, we have Swamy who continues to entertain us with his bullshit.

    But I'm happy that we have got respite from outraging about all that's wrong with our country. I pray, our achhe din last forever.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Sadly the media is being slowly Modi-fied and its sad considered that its considered as the fourth estate serving as a watch dog on corrupt practices and crime practiced by all the mighty and powerful. We are really living in a circus, I feel with this whole punch of ache din aane wale..I am tempted to sing ane wala pal jane wala hai:) Please someone save our media which I may be or may be not part in the future.

    ReplyDelete