Monday, January 5, 2015

Pants Up,Shades Down


Italian Cops
In what is seen as a bad influence of Singham and Dabangg, the Uttar Pradesh Police decided to ban policemen from wearing low-waist trousers and tight-fitting uniforms saying that the cops were becoming, well - too filmy. The directive also ordered women cops to wear shirt and pants instead of a salwar kameez or a saree. So if you are a woman, a tiny part of you would be delighted. After all, it is not often that a word like ‘ban’ is used for the men folk. Dont judge me, but a wicked part of me wants to ask the classic telly question, “How do you feel about this ban?”
Calling it a ‘panchayati farmaan’ one police officer allegedly said, “The police chief has no right to decide how to wear a uniform.” Aww. What is it that they say about the shoe being on the other foot? 


Perhaps, the directive has something to do with two constables in Agra who were suspended after a dressing down for dressing up in Dabangg style shades. I am no one to comment on sacred uniform directives, but how does one differentiate between a well-fitting uniform and a tight-fitting uniform? What is ‘tight-fitting’ for a retired officer from the era of ‘Hathiyaar daal do, police ne tumhe chaaro taraf se gher liya hai’ might be ‘well-fitting’ for a young recruit who has grown up wearing lowriders?

Which, of course, doesn’t mean that cops should dress provocatively, or behave like movie stars because a cop exposing a cleavage of another variety and dancing on the street is not a welcome thought. So who decides where the trousers need to sit? As long as a cop can cut to the chase without exposing his jockey collection, a ban on ‘low-riders’ sounds a bit harsh. Unless there is some connection between pulling up the pants and lifting the minds? 


Those who think we are pioneers when it comes to banning  dresses, will be happy to know that the state of Louisiana in the USA made an attempt to ban low-rise jeans in 2004, but the bill was rejected in the House. Back home, Bollywood takes the cake when it comes to stereotyping baton bacons. A smartly dressed cop is, more often than not, an honest angry hero fighting the system (Vinod Khanna in Amar Akbar Anthony, Amitabh Bachchan in Zanzeer, Manoj Vajpayee in Shool or Ajay Devgun in Gangajal), and a cop with an ample waistline is a bumbling buffoon (Tiku Talsania in Andaaz Apna Apna, Jhonny Lever in Hello Brother, Shammi Kapoor in Love Story). It doesn’t come as a surprise because the moment we board a filmy flight, reality’s baggage is the first to go missing.

Image: Google Images (linkservice.com)
Or C

Ridiculed by the politicians (polishing behenji’s sandals) and pilloried for taking bribes, it is not difficult to understand why young policemen hanker after the Dabangg image. While the rest of the forces carry an aura of confidence and compassion, our policemen need an image makeover. Some of it is perhaps possible through the long pending police reforms and not so much from the directives on where the trousers should rest. I don’t know how or when this will happen, but what I know is that thappad se dar nahi lagta saheb, ban se lagta hai. 


Also on Huffington Post.

49 comments:

  1. Hahahaha....I loved the last sentence...:P Sshhhh....rest, I don't want to comment on policemen and their underwear showing trousers...here in the U.S, when I see kids or elders like that, I feel like ....ek thappad deke, belt them up like the picture A in your post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's still in vogue? I thought the trend is done and dusted.
      Good to see you here Prudhvi. Missed your presence.
      And congrats.

      Delete
    2. you are right. I don't notice many such folks these days...only randomly. I also missed reading your posts and blogging in fact. Now you know what kept me occupied all these days. Thank you, my dear :)

      Delete
  2. LOL! Bechare! Poor souls can not do anything they wish.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That last line and in fact that last paragraph takes the cake, and boy o boy, you sure did pick a lovely headline to blog about today :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. For some reason I don't mind being the BAN being applied the other way round ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Aapke aise blogs padhte hue, hanste hanste kursi se gir jaane se darr lagta hai

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is so sweet of you. Glad you liked it Anuj.
      I had fun writing this.

      Delete
  6. I have to agree - that last line is pure genius :)
    Entertaining post, Alka.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hahha! BUT, Alka, you do it again :) The first sign even-handed treatment for men and women (the best that the powers-that-be can manage) and you satirize that wickedly as well :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ready to ride my broom...and wooosh!

      Delete
  8. Hahhaa, hilarious but smart take!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  9. :) now this one made me smileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee toooooooooo so first of all thank you so much ..

    I was joking with one of my seniors here and asked wonder how it would be if we had the same uniform as the indian police :)

    thankfully ours has also just changed we get to wear all black now :)

    I wish other than the dress code there are other similarities too that are made ... if you know what i mean


    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bikram, more than the uniform, I think we need to change the way policemen are recruited and trained in our country. Most are from Haryana, UP and Bihar where patriarchy rules. Plus the pay scales are pathetic. KIran Bedi has often asked for police reforms but the government does not want to loosen its grip on the police, using the force according to its own whims.
      This was a light hearted take and the word BAN for the police made me pen this one.
      So glad this made you smile.
      Wishing you loads of smiles. Always.

      Delete
  10. Having first hand experienced the UP police and their dabangai, I am all for reducing their machismo. Of course, making the uniform loose is hardly going to change their character and morality or increase their efficiency. Wish they got some classes in etiquette on how to treat the common man or woman on street.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's worse in Haryana Rachna. The UP cops are a shade better so you can imagine how it is here. Most are recruited from Haryana, UP and Bihar where patriarchy rules.

      Delete
  11. Ahh I thought I would never see a day when something would be banned for men :D Ache din aa gaye kiya :P
    Waise I came here looking for the hunk in first picture. I see policemen in white horses here in Sydney ... and I thought prince charming doesn't exist :P
    Loved your take Alka. Totally enjoyed reading it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The picture was to attract attention, glad it hooked at least one reader. :) :)
      So so glad you liked it dear. Thanks for the tweet.

      Delete
  12. Damn their dress code......When will they actually start behaving and performing duties as Dabang or Singham did?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some of them do, despite the constraints. What we need is police reforms.

      Delete
  13. Given the steady diet of chai-paani, a policeman's uniform tightens accordingly. More than an image makeover, our police needs a mindset makeover.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The mind set makeover is a mandatory part of a image makeover.
      Again we come back to police reforms. If all the other forces can demand respect so should the policemen. Else we will continue to associate them with corruption and inefficiency.

      Delete
  14. LOL ! Now Alka that surely is a cause for concern ! Because the Dabang shtyle really allowed them to wear the trouser below their paunch vs. above. Its also a method to save the nation's resources by using less pant cloth :) But yeah all said and done, love men being banned for something.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You said it Alka.The police reforms ignore them and the movies lampoon them.Then they themselves do little to salvage their image.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wonder why the policemen are not demanding the reforms? They need it more than anyone else.

      Delete
  16. Blame it on zealots!!! I think its high time to give cops their due, there are some bad apples in the system but I also met good human beings in them. High time to increase their salary, reduce work load which leads to stress. They are our unsung heroes.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Last line ! LOL. I also think duty matters more than how a person dresses for work ! Also, looking neat and wearing a well fitting uniform should be actually applauded !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's where we come to who decides whats right?
      Thanks Anita.

      Delete
  18. Lol! No comments on where the men in uniform's trousers should sit and on whether their jockey' collections should be seen or not. But honestly, a well-fitting uniform looks neat and lends a dignified image.
    Btw... one of my New Year Resolution was not to miss a single blog post of yours :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is so kind of you Rachna, makes my day.

      Delete
  19. Forgot to tell you that I will definitely send you the links to my stories (whichever of them are available to be read online).

    ReplyDelete
  20. Well thought out and interesting post. I was not aware of such an issue and am feeling thoroughly enlightened ;) Thanks for the humorous and valid take on such a topic . :D My website - http://aditi.ws/outlook

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for stopping by Adisha. Will visit shortly.

      Delete
  21. Sigh. Trust this country to always chase the wrong priority. Theek hai, a pot bellied pan chewing cop of zero empathy but in a proper fitting khaki uniform is clearly what UP needs.
    And deserves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As long as the trouser is not a lowrider, UP is safe. The two little Badaun girls climbed up a tree and hung upside down on their own. All good.
      :)

      Delete
  22. That's was a nice read. Didn't know there was such a ban in place. But I do think it's time our police folks get a makeover, both in dressing as well as attitude.

    ReplyDelete
  23. The condition of the majority of force in khakhi splattered about the northern province in question is pathetic to say the least. I was not aware of the brouhaha that turned up as a delicious fare at your mill but I enjoyed it thoroughly.

    ReplyDelete