Tuesday, October 24, 2017

October Fireworks





At a time when the country was bursting firecrackers, we in Delhi/NCR entertained ourselves with political bombs and news sparklers. The ground spinners (chakris), flower pots (anars) and the rockets played themselves, but with a twist. 

For Rahul fans, the month of October brightened with the news that rocket Rahul would be finally launched as Congress President. Unopposed, of course. Time will tell if he can push the boulder up the mountain but as of now he looks like those red popping strips with symmetric dot like protrusions loaded in a toy pistol. Remember them? You kept pulling the trigger, some went off, some didn’t? Phatak. Phuss. Phuss. Phatak. 





Propelled by the news of his coronation and retweets from Kazakhastan, rocket Rahul landed on Gujarat’s political landscape. He rolled his sleeve and called Modi’s GST, Gabbar Singh Tax without explaining why his party passed the Gabbar-esque bill in the house.

A tweet by Shahsi Tharoor



There is no denying that after DeMo bomb and GST damp squib, the BJP fireworks aren’t as spectacular as last year. Meanwhile, when Modi ji was celebrating Diwali with soldiers, his foot soldier lit a snake tablet (remember saanp ki goliyan? They emit the highest amount of PM 2.5) by denouncing the legendary Taj Mahal. Does the publicity seeking hate monger have any answer to the lovely churches of Goa and Kerala built by the Portugese or the Puducherry landscape so lovingly painted by the French? If we were to question the past of every monument, our inclusive culture and heritage will go up in the smoke of our colonial past. 




Looks like the Delhi CM was not in a mood for any festive revelry. No psychopath bombs, no anarchist bangs and no sparks on television. Total black out. Barring a favourable review of the movie the Secret Superstar and a populist stand on metro fare hike. Allegedly, the Delhi govt threatened to revoke the appointment of DMRC chief on fares but the board refused to give in to political pressure. Just so you know, the last metro fares were hiked in 2009. Moreover, there is no political interference in most countries, like in the UK for instance, it’s the Mayor who decides the fares for the London Underground. Subsidizing a world class service for votes can delay expansion and convert Delhi metro into another local train service. Sigh, you can’t blame the CM. Since there are no farm loan waivers in Delhi, aam-admi appeasement is the only ace up his chequered shirt.
Not to be left behind the Fin Min dropped a reform bomb for recapitalization plan of public sector banks. The Kapil The Sibal called it selling of another dream. Time will tell if this one is a big bang reform or another one that failed to explode. Because fireworks are great but where are trillions coming in from?






Meanwhile the set-jaw spokesperson of the BJP, GVL Narsimha Rao lit a sparkler by questioning the general knowledge of film industry. Rao’s comment by no means was directed at Manoj Tiwari who is a direct descendant of Albert Einstein and Madam Curie. While Kirron Kher and Hema Malini kept quiet, a furious Farhan Akhtar exploded, ‘How dare you Sir?’ 

Talking of Bollywood, Bipasha generated some light and more heat by featuring in a condom advertisement. But nothing is newsworthy unless Twitter trolls give you a hard time. Bipasha trolled for starring in a condom ad, read the headline. In a country with second largest population in the world, its funny why condom ads create such dhamaka.

Image from Pintrest

October was also a month that saw the acquittal of the Talwar couple framed in their daughter Arushis murder. It broke my heart to see them emerge from jail as shutterbugs circled them like vultures with their cliched, ‘Aapko kaisa lag raha hai?’
You know what, sometimes the loudest bang happens when we think fireworks are over. Even as I type, news is that Virat and Anushka may tie the knot in December. And Jab Virat Weds Sejal, perhaps this what Virat would say - You blow my Mind.





Image from here



22 comments:

  1. Some of our politicians make me wonder if a monument here or a song there are the most urgent problems which our country has to tackle.

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    1. Misplaced priorities. This when people can see through the charade.

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  2. You should make this a regular feature - a monthly roundup in your phataka style

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    1. That's the idea but not something people want to read.

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  3. Enjoyed reading this 'pataka' post! Most fire crackers in the NCR are burnt only on prime time TV and most of them become 'phus' in less than a week!

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    1. Right, news is transient. And our outrage short lived.

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  4. What a crackling roundup of the month's events. Better than any newspaper or TV report !

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    1. Thank you, coming from you it means a lot.

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  5. I seem to be updated on October....awaiting your November dhamaka :)

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  6. Like some of our friends do their monthly gratitude posts, this is gratitude post, Alka style!

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  7. Alka, bend it like Beckham - Write it like Alka :) wonder why hasn't anyone approached you yet for a regular column in their magazine? I love reading your witty posts.WYSIWYG of computers in your case becomes WYSIWYWrite

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    1. That's kind of you to say that. I did a series that was published in Gurgaon Times few years ago.

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  8. You didn't disappoint at all Alka and so much fun with this pataka post from Raga to NaMo and Bips. The kind of Diwali cracker that we need to lift the fog from our mind and eyes...a good laugh:)

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    1. Thank you Vishal. Never a dull moment in our politics, is there? Always crackling and sparkling with toxic fumes. :)

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  9. I had no clue about these events. Yes, I guess I have fallen off the news wagon so it was a hilarious 'news' roundup for me. :)

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  10. The honourable patriot that I am, I am oath-bound to stay away from anything cracker. So I did wander near your post time and again but slunk off fearing untoward bursts of fireworks each time. But it turned out I was fooling none other than myself: I had to read it eventually. You have chosen the usual suspects for the game of missiles (made popular by President Trump's good friend Kim Jong-un) and even though they have been done to death by the grace of the Indian race you have managed to extract enough juice to leaven your piece. Doesn't that remind me of the sugarcane crushers who roamed the streets but a decade ago?

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    1. Lol, yes there are times when I'm bored of the usual suspects. But they never fail to disappoint, guess news is what piques my pen if not readers interest. Regardless, always a pleasure to see you here.

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  11. True - if we were to question the past of every monument there would be nothing left in India. Just look at the Railway network, built by the British, probably the second biggest in Asia.

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  12. That's quite good information, took some time to read story but worth reading
    http://www.bhejafrynews.com

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