Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Where Did Time Fly?

Senior with Freshers

While watching the star cast of ‘Student of The Year 2’ – Tiger Shroff, Tara Sutaria and Ananya Pandey, I had an ‘A-ha’ moment. Well, let’s call it an ‘O-ho’ moment. Even better, call it a ‘Doob-Maro’ moment. Because that is when I felt the tectonic shift of a generational change. I have no clue where the years sneaked past me, but to watch Alia Bhatt morph into a senior and dish out acting gyan to hatch-lings was tough to swallow. If Alia Bhatt is a senior, I'm Asha Parekh. 
Eeeks...not a comforting thought at all. 

Just when I thought I had seen enough burgeoning baba log, I read about Pooja Bedi’s daughter Alaia, who makes her acting debut as Saif Ali Khan’s daughter in ‘Jawani Janeman’. Hello? Why, wasn’t it yesterday that Pooja Bedi, the new age Veronica swirled her skirt opposite Archie Aamir in ‘Jo Jeeta Wahi Sikander’? But no sir, it wasn’t yesterday. Google tells me that it’s been twenty-seven long years since Pooja Bedi recreated Marilyn Monroe’s flying skirt moment. 

So, suddenly we have a fresh crop like Sara, Tara and Kiara sprouting like mushrooms in monsoon. When I can barely string a coherent sentence in public, these kids are all sassy, chirpy, witty and very sexy. As the Tara-Kiara brigade sashayed on screen, reality hit me on the head. Thud. This is where my life is going wrong. I have no Monday Game of Thrones party to attend. I have no tickets for the Avengers Endgame. Then I summoned all the Whatsapp videos I have seen to focus on the positives. Take a deep breath. Focus on why life is such a leveler. If Alia Bhatt can grow old, you are a raddish of which farm? 

Yet, when I share my insecurities with the husband, he has ‘what rubbish, tell me something new’ look on his face. Age is a matter of mind, if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter, he says with all the gravitas of Modi ji denying the reality of missing jobs.

Truth is, age matters unless you are cheese. Or wine. Or Anil Kapoor. I scratch my head when they say the best thing about growing old is gaining wisdom. For heaven’s sake, where do they get such bunkum? Isn’t Sara Ali Khan wise and young at the same time? Why should wisdom come with progressive glasses that create a bigger dent in your pockets than Yeti footprints? I have tried hard to spot things like wisdom and maturity that others claim to have discovered with age, but I tell you, it is complete hogwash. 

Needless to say, I’m not a fan of the aging malarkey. It’s not that I’m vain and I miss my youthful looks. No. It’s the other things that come marinated with age. Like, there is something about aging that makes you forget proper nouns. Whoever disagrees never faced the embarrassment of, “What was his name dammit?” The proper nouns go missing like Suhel Seth from Twitter. There are days when I open the refrigerator and wonder why I opened it in the first place. There are things that keep in safe place and forget what that safe place was. Which is why my heart went out to President Trump, bless him, when he forgot Tim Cook’s name and called him Tim Apple. With a hundred monsters laying claim to his mind, it’s human to forget names. Plus Tim Apple was so much better than Tim Pineapple. 
Likewise, Khamosh Sinha slipped between Maulana Azad and Jinnah to create a electoral storm. Or take Hema Malini. The lady forgot what she did for her constituency. Happens.

Regrettably, foggy brain is not the only causality. There are bad hair days followed by bad hair years. You can put all the egg and honey packs on your head but depleting oestrogen ensures you look like Chunky Pandey and not Ananya Pandey. See, once your hormones begin to sway, leaving you as devastated as Balakot, you find solace in Salman Khan’s double chin. If bhai can age, so can you. Yes, yes, I know what you are thinking. Well, one Madhuri or Anil Kapoor do not make spring. The sobering realization dawns once you see Jeetendra’s face botoxed into everlasting ecstasy. 

Ah, so what was I saying? Yes, as I wrap my head around the fact that Alia Bhatt is now veteran, I’m grateful that I’ve just kissed the age of forgetting names. It’s early days. I will worry when I begin to forget faces. Or pulling up my zipper. 

Not sure which college but new students
(Image: India Today)


  1. Packed with entertainment as always :) Was grinning through out but alia bhatts seniority , will it really save SOTY 2 :P ?
    Great post !

    1. Thanks Afshu. SOTY 1 was a below average film and look where the students are. So these kids will do well too, thanks to KJo ashirwad.

  2. Wonderfully written with your touch of wry humour.

    1. Thank you for reading. Delighted to see you here.

  3. Haha..You are a raddish of which farm?
    Loved it.

  4. wow I loved reading this. keep penning my dear


  5. I totally love it....ROFL Alka what with Suhel Seth so epic true :) Wonder what I've been missing from your blog and promise to be back. You ek dum must pen one howlarious tale every week.

  6. I cried in acknowledgement at the end of every sentence in this post. 😂

    1. But you can't nod your head after the *bad hair* sentence. You are Anil Kapoor in that department.

  7. Forgetting names.... sounds so familiar:) Change is inevitable

  8. omg ..hilarious.. totally agree with you.. thanks for the fun read :)

  9. Your article forces me to write about Madame Tussauds Museum. The logic is quite clear to me. Let us be honest to each other. What is it that you mean to say?

    1. Being sportive and accepting and posing with own wax statue is the maximum this mortal G K can generate with his body, mind and soul.

  10. The Son 1Jo 4:14

    The Son of God Jhn 1:34

    The Son of the living God Mat 16:16

    His only begotten Son Jhn 3:16

    The Son of the Father 1Jo 1:3

    The only begotten of the Father Jhn 1:14

    The only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father Jhn 1:18

    The first-born of every creature Col 1:15

    His own Son Rom 8:32

    A Son given Isa 9:6

    One Son (his well-beloved) Mar 12:6

    My Son Psa 2:7

    His dear Son (or the Son of his love) Col 1:13

    The Son of the Highest Luk 1:32

    The Son of the Blessed Mar 14:61

    Secret Jdg 13:18

    Wonderful Isa 9:6

    VI.—Thou hast made Him a little lower than the angels. Hbr 2:7

    The Man Jhn 19:5

    The Man Christ Jesus 1Ti 2:5

    A Man approved of God Act 2:22

    The Second Man, the Lord from heaven 1Cr 15:47

    The Son of Man Mar 10:33

    The Son of Abraham Mat 1:1

    The Son of David Mat 1:1

    The Son of Mary Mar 6:3

    The Son of Joseph (reputed) Jhn 1:45

    The Seed of the Woman Gen 3:15

    The Seed of Abraham Gal 3:16, 19

    Of the Seed of David Rom 1:3

    VII.—Lo, I Come, to do thy will, O God. Hbr 10:9

    The Babe Luk 2:12

    The Child Isa 7:16

    The Young Child Mat 2:20

    A Child Born Isa 9:6

    The Child Jesus Luk 2:43

    Her First-Born Son Luk 2:7

    The Sent of the Father Jhn 10:36

    The Apostle Hbr 3:1

    A Prophet Act 3:22, 23

    A Great Prophet Luk 7:16

    The Prophet of Nazareth Mat 21:11

    A Prophet mighty in deed and word Luk 24:19

    A Servant Phl 2:7

    The Servant of the Father Mat 12:18

    My Servant, O Israel Isa 49:3

    My Servant, the Branch Zec 3:8

    My Righteous Servant Isa 53:11

    A Servant of Rulers Isa 49:7

    A Nazarene, or Nazarite Mat 2:23

    The Carpenter Mar 6:3

    The Carpenter's Son (reputed) Mat 13:55

    He Humbled Himself unto death Phl 2:8

    A Stranger and an Alien Psa 69:8

    A Man of Sorrows Isa 53:3

    A Worm, and no Man Psa 22:6

    Accursed of God (or the Curse of God) Deu 21:23

    The Lord is my Portion
    My Maker, Husband Isa 54:5

    My Well-beloved Sgs 1:13

    My Saviour 2Pe 3:18

    My Hope 1Ti 1:1

    My Brother Mar 3:35

    My Portion Jer 10:16

    My Helper Hbr 13:6

    My Physician Jer 8:22

    My Healer Luk 9:11

    My Refiner Mal 3:3

    My Purifier Mal 3:3

    My Lord, Master Jhn 13:13

    My Servant Luk 12:37

    My Example Jhn 13:15

    My Teacher Jhn 3:2

    My Shepherd Psa 23:1

    My Keeper Jhn 17:12

    My Feeder Eze 34:23

    My Leader Isa 40:11

    My Restorer Psa 23:3

    My Resting-place Jer 50:6

    My Meat (his flesh) Jhn 6:55

    My Drink (his blood) Jhn 6:55

    My Passover 1Cr 5:7

    My Peace Eph 2:14

    My Wisdom 1Cr 1:30

    My Righteousness 1Cr 1:30

    My Sanctification 1Cr 1:30

    My Redemption 1Cr 1:30

    My All in All

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