Gaffegate

Caught on camera, several enlightening utterances have defined the last few days. Yes, it’s the damn mike. With pesky reporters waiting to pounce on any verbal glitch ‘mike menace’ has become an embarrassment for those in positions of power. Sample some recent gems.
“If you work hard, you can steal a little.”
“There is a lot of noise. Adjourn the house for the day.”
“Inflation is good for the farmers.”
"Chup baithiye....badtameez kahin ke."

Outspoken remarks, honest admissions or careless whispers - measured in degrees of embarrassment, all the above are medal winning blunders. If the cameras had not captured these gems, they would have been denied to the civilization. And we would have been lulled into believing that the media had “misreported”. Again.

Since political air is full of utterances, gaffes come with the territory. No wonder, the television media milks them to their advantage and makes hay while the fumbler whines. Even Anna’s impromptu “Ek hi maara” was debated with gusto on prime time television.

What’s interesting is that while some verbal blunders are accidental - like the careless whispers caught on camera, others are self-inflicted. Sushma’s declaration of shaving her head and sleeping on the floor; Advani’s admiration for Jinnah or Khursheed’s comment on his leader crying over Batla pictures did not arise from any babbling delirium - they came from the heart. That said, some phrases, depending on the degree of viciousness present in the political air become immortalized. Remember the infamous ‘Maut ke saudagar’? I have a feeling that the recent ‘mota maal’ barb by Sushma Swaraj is going to hurt the Congress for a long time. Undoubtedly, barbs flying in all directions are patently leaving the media breathless. Phew!

Recently we witnessed ugly scenes when MLA Vijay Mishra's daughter was caught on camera distributing Rs 500 notes to policemen as 'bakshish' after he was released from Naini jail in Allahabad. Even more disturbing were the visuals of UP’s urban development minister, Azam Khan rebuking a public servant and calling him ‘badtameez kahin ke’. Hard to imagine the plight of the public servant being admonished by netaji on national television!

While videos are damning, pictures can be deceiving. This reminds me of a photo of Barack Obama apparently staring at a young woman's derriere during the G8 summit. The picture had inspired a new name for the presidential anthem - “Tail to the Chief”.

And who can forget Bush’s infamous Iraq-war bloopers? Even as American leaders have learned to laugh at their gaffes, the reaction (sabko andar karva doonga) of a UP leader after his alleged “steal a little” remark, smacked of intolerance.

Indeed, verbal gaffes provide delicious fodder for the television media. With handheld devices that can produce quality videos, we will never know when someone will say “Smile please, you are on camera!” Does this mean that the residents of Blunderland have to stew in their misery?
Of course not. They have devised ways to emerge unscathed, albeit with some minor bruises. First, of course is denial. If the television channels continue airing the footage repeatedly, those caught on camera can resort to the tried and tested juvenile escape – “So what if I said so, they said it too”. The television media seems to buy that argument.
Second is to hope that the moment one commits verbal gaucherie, a colleague utters something doubly outrageous. Only a fresh gaffe can take the spotlight away from the previous blunder. 

Finally, if the foot has landed deep inside the political pie-hole, the last resort is to go down fighting in the history of gaffe books. If America can celebrate their ‘top ten’ Bush'isms or Biden'isms, we can applaud our Beni’sms and Yadav’isms too. There is no dearth of talent. Right?

Image Courtesy: Google Images- Freefoto.com

Rambo Revisited

Pic courtesy TOI

I always wanted a desi version of Stallone - muscular, determined with long flowing mane and a steely resolve. Flashes of Rambo were brilliantly evoked when transfixed to my telly, I gazed at the spirited Ram-bo-dev precariously dangling out of the DTC window with a black bandana across his forehead. Every muscle in his body had a purpose, every gesture was inspiring.
 
When one karwachauth has me begging for water, imagine the resolve of a man who had not eaten a morsel or sipped a drop of water for the past four days in Delhi humidity? All for the sake of kaala dhan stashed away in faraway lockers. Or was it for the independence of the CBI? Or eradication of corruption? Whatever!

No wonder they say it is dangerous to dance around a yogi who is sleeping on a bed of nails.

If Anna’s strength was in his will, Ramdev’s resolve was in his ability to pull crowds. Look at the huge crowds the yogic Pied Piper managed to gather on a week-day despite the thundering clouds and energy sapping humidity. Who were these thousands of people swaying to the Pied Pipers yogic tunes? Why were they ready to brave lathis lest the situation went out of control?

The political leaders can dismiss Ramdev at their own peril and feign ignorance. ‘Who is Ramdev?’ His detractors can call him a ‘businessman’. His adversaries can question his motives for ‘desh bachao’. Regardless, the yoga strongman has become a nemesis for tax evaders, swindlers and money launderers. For those who see him as a pawn in the BJP’s hands, should have seen it coming.

See, when you play politics in a jungle with two dominant tigers, and when one tiger is ready to pounce on you with ED notices or CBI raids you are bound to jump in the protective arms of the opponent. And with the crowd support Ramdev had, the opponent tiger was more than willing to embrace him with open paws. As it happened, the entire piggyback brigade jumped on Baba’s bandwagon. Win-win.

Wonder why the stage was used by Sharad Yadav ji to bash Chidambaram’s penchant for using the colonial language? Don’t we all admire Baba’s felicity for Angrezi when he speaks to Arnab on ‘Times Now’ or when he addresses his followers on his gifted island abroad? And who can deny that when Baba wielded a shining sword on stage, it appeared as if all desh drohis will be vanquished in one fell coup.

This August, Delhi was in the iron grip of Baba's fist. Those who wanted to visit G B Pant Hospital could wait while Baba was flexing his muscles atop a DTC bus.

Being Ramdev’s most ardent fan, watching him sway in political abandon was a feat for eyes looking to fill the vacuum created by political parties. It is so reassuring to know that now Ramdev is going to tell me who I should vote for.Honestly, with elections looming on the horizon I was really confused.

We are a nation of iconoclasts. We wait for a messiah to arrive and guide us through all our problems. If political leaders fail to instill confidence, the political space will be filled by more such social crusaders. I only hope such crusaders have nations best interests at heart.

For me, during those five days of Ramdev’s agitation, vengeance was the popular Rambo-esque emotion which played on my telly. But there was a twist. It was not filmy, it was political. And this was only a glimpse of 'First Blood Part I'. The second part hits theaters in 2014.