Monday, September 13, 2010

A Suitable Girl


There is this boy (read foreign delegate), coming to see an Indian girl on October the 3rd 2010. Now here lies the irony. At the moment, the girl in question is not in the best of health and is in a desperate need of a makeover.

Over the years she has put on oodles of weight of corruption, she has ugly scars of neglect, dreadful moles of apathy and her complexion has blemishes of black wheeling dealing. Every monsoon she suffers from recurrent fever of various origins. Since this malaise has infected her for years her parents are worried. Make no mistake, it’s not her fault. She is an interesting girl, with a colorful personality and a beautiful Indian heart. It’s just that her parents Ms. S. Dixit and Mr. J. Reddy have been too busy pursuing their self interests that the girl needs a drastic makeover a la Oprah style.

Now that the D day is so dreadfully close her parents are obviously worried. For the sake of the prestige of the girl you ask? Nah….In fact they are nervous wrecks for the fact that they might not be appointed as her guardians after the next elections. Mulling over the issue for months over endless cups of tea the parents decided to book the best beauty parlour in town for a revolutionary revolution. The beautician a certain Ms Kala- madi seized the opportunity with both hands and legs too. Though difficult, involving several sessions, the job promised an opportunity to add magical zeroes to the slumping fortunes of his dilapidated parlor.

Poor girl! Tsk…tsk..She was made to quaff several bitter pills to become shapely and appealing. A few silicone implants of stadium constructions, Botox sessions of road widening and tummy tucks of trial traffic runs, the results were heartening. Not to mention a few gold facials to remove the ugly scars in the form of construction debris defacing the flawless complexion and etiquette classes for the Delhi police to deal gracefully with the boy’s family.

On the eventful day the boy in question arrived with his family all eager and hopeful of an enriching experience of meeting this Incredible girl. And surprise…surprise; he fell madly in love with the engrossing show, the colorful costumes, and amazing hospitality. Only, the boy did not marry the girl but promised to return soon to take back his Dulhaniya.

Never mind a surprise visit a fortnight later the boy was in for a rude shock. This was not the girl he saw on his earlier visit. The girl had put on weight of fraud, was sick with dengue, scarred with monsoons and turned schizophrenic due to traffic jams. Worse the blemishes of beggars on her pretty face harassed him day and night.

The boy left back hurriedly, returning with the memories of a lovely damsel he had met earlier.

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