Tuesday, February 15, 2011

HOW TO WARD OFF ENEMIES









This post is on Feature Friday, Blog-O-Sphere



Believe it or not black magic and hocus pocus works. It sure did. The suryanamaskars in the nude have saved him once again.


Bhanu Prakash, personal astrologer of Karnataka’s CM, Mr Yeddyurappa has advised him to perform suryanamaskars in the nude to ward off the effect of black magic. And who, you might ask is wasting his precious time performing black magic on the poor spotless soul? Well, who else but his equally upright opponents. Mr. Kumaraswamy is busy performing special pujas to dethrone the present occupant. In order to counter the former CM, the beautiful city of myriad possibilities has a leader who is balancing on one leg; umm...well in the buff. How about writing a book, or better still releasing a CD on the yogic poses going by the title, ‘Yoga for political survival’? It will beat the sales of Ms Shettys CD on yoga.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/To-ward-off-evil-BSY-to-do-yoga-in-the-buff/articleshow/7407645.cms


Strange. Often the way out of scandals is even more scandalous.
If you really want to delve into great minds, forget reading biographies of the legends. Forget Obamas', ‘Audacity of Hope’, or Nandan's, ‘Imagining India’.
We are fortunate enough to have leaders with great vision, infinite wisdom and enormous experience to lead us in the twenty first century. In fact they should pen their experiences for the larger benefit of mankind.
Sonia ji can shed some light on, ‘How to use a remote control- Power without accountability’. Rahul, the dimpled one can explain, ‘How coalition politics is responsible for inflation’. The future breed of foreign ministers can learn from the memoirs, ‘Such things happen – Political gaffes by Krishna’. True, it could happen to anyone who is seventy-eight and zooming non-stop across the globe. One only hopes that he doesn’t board a wrong flight.

Since there are buyers ranging from bored housewives to perky youngsters to over-worked executives the ‘How to…’books will help the country men in realizing their dreams. Any help to satiate the cravings of a stressed society looking for external approval is up for grabs. And if the pearls of wisdom are from our very own leaders, it would be so enlightening.

Most men are in awe of a leader from the south, with dark glasses. Why? Well, when most can’t manage one, he has managed the enviable task of maintaining three wives with such grace and √©lan. It aint easy to distribute television channels, real estate and bank balances to all three and their children. And to remember three anniversaries when most can’t remember one! How about a user friendly manual by the DMK boss with tips, ‘The power of three’.



Coming back to Yeddyurappa, last year, allegedly he summoned a protective cloak around himself when a rebel MLA had undertaken a donkey sacrifice to eliminate him. By the way, I request him to write a book so that other hapless souls, other than the hapless donkey, can get precious advice on ‘How to ward off enemies’.Yet, his worries are far from over. Going by the advice of tantriks, what if human sacrifice is next on the list? I am sure the publishers will lap every account of, ‘Black magic for surviving all odds’ by Yeddyurappa.

A tome as memorable and perhaps as appropriate as Barack Obama’s, ‘Audacity of Hope,’ a story told by one of the country’s greatest leaders, who realized that the only hope for a modern nation is to ward off the effects of black magic. A compelling read!

38 comments:

  1. Hey, you forgot 'How to Cook Your Way to Presidency'!

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  2. Hey, you forgot 'How to Cook Your Way to Presidency'!

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  3. A CM performing nude Suryanamaskar... lol :P

    He should have consulted me instead of his Yoga Guru. My suggestion.... Donate 50% of your black money among the poor Indians.

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  4. The CM of bangalore is very wise man!! Thank god for these people

    Regarding the suryanamaskar thing...hope the astrologer is hired by a few bollywood actress

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  5. Post was perfect. Humour and sarcasm. I laughed in humour and learned something new in sarcasm. :)

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  6. @Umashankar...Perrrfect. Awesome comment.


    @Rachit...Its no ordinary aasan. He has to do it in the nude.

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  7. Superstition , the bane of India. I think in the age of science and technology, a counter revolution of superstition is gaining ground. I have seen a lot of people (including my family) so fond of superstition rituals. I decided to move myself out of these and thus have been labelled "rebel". Not that I hate it at all. Infact this gives me a distinct character.
    In my opinion superstition happens because of societal beliefs and personal weakness of character. YOu might not have heard Netaji, Sardar Patel, Bhagat Singh wasting time with superstition.
    Unfortunately due to this superstition only we have been ruled by others for 1000 years. When it was call to arms our priests were busy cajoling Gods.
    I simply equate superstition to lack of character and weakness. A strong person depends on his heart and head. He/she understands that worries and troubles are part of life. Unfortunately we have all become too practical to think about idealism. A person like Bhagat Singh would be termed outclass in today's India. I know that too that I cannot be like him but at least I try to raise my voice wherever I can.
    Great and thoughtful read.

    Thanks
    Ashvini

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  8. @Jon...Yup, How to make your film a blockbuster. Hang upside down in the buff..keep imagining.



    @Prateek...When one reads such irresistible news items, sarcasm nikal jaata hai. Becomes difficult to control....lol. Thanks for reading.

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  9. Alka his crimes are also extraordinary...:P

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  10. @Ashwini..I guess u are in Bangalore. Having lived in Blore I feel so sad that the state and city has so much potential...people, soil, climate, nature, ores ...yet our leaders have squandered the opportunity.Faiths and beliefs are personal. Trust our leaders to think in every way but rationally. And for personal gains. Unfortunate.

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  11. MERA BHARAT MAHAAAAN ..........

    now we know why ...



    Bikram's

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  12. Interesting read...you got a good blog here. Following you now. If you like my blog, you may choose to do so.

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  13. I thoroughly enjoyed this political satire. Its a sad state our country is in. Ultimately we suffer.

    Well, it would sure help to have a manual "How to survive in an organized turmoil"

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  14. If he is our future, then we are history :-)

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  15. really nice read!!

    superstition...where are this people heading exactly?...it only reflects...No evidence of hard work or at least a thought for betterment of our country

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  16. bizarre! and to know that they 'govern'
    shivers

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  17. one way or other every body believes in Superstitions.... but there are a few who believe only in Superstition... and i have heard a lot about these Politicians... Bollywood and Cricketers.....

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  18. @Bikram...There is a serious leadership bankruptcy.



    @A...Sure. Welcome to Freebird.


    @Insignia....Absolutely true. Thanks.

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  19. @Harish....Perrrfect.Our future rests on hocus pocus.


    @Poonam...leadership is not in consonance with young India.

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  20. @Sushant...Welcome here Sushant.Thanks.



    #Magiceye..No vision, no ideas...yet they govern. Unfortunate.

    @Irfanuddin... They can not govern an emerging young nation with superstitions.

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  21. Why don't you ghost write these books that you have tantalizing suggested. We will all lap it up.

    And now that Yeddyurappa secret is out, how will anyone ever take him seriously!!

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  22. @purba...Oh I would love to. Yeddy and co provide great fodder for thought and amusement alike.

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  23. I seriously doubt, Suryanamaskaras are going to ward off the Black in the politicians! May be some donations? ;)

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  24. @Psyche Bubbles...How about a Suryanamaskara with cash between folded hands?

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  25. Our land of the ocult and the hocus pocus.....
    I fail to understand how the educated too fall for it (or are they educated only on paper?)
    Like that cartoon. Its a cross between R K Laxman and Ninan

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  26. @Haddock...Am glad you liked it.I guess the education is only on paper...we know how to get fake certificates.

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  27. Superstitions.... We just can not have enough of them... Each time a new story...

    Enjoyed reading it :)

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  28. I wonder why doesn't someone write a book on "Politics for dummies". There a book for almost everything that we do, yet this important profession is kept aloof. They could catalog and elucidate all these practices like surya namaskaar and suggest other totka's like the laal kitaab. :P

    Nice read.

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  29. suryanamaskar and naked!!!
    now now how stranger can it get

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  30. Politics is nothing to do with governance these days.Scams,scandals and black magic define it:)Our politicians might take this suggestion and write those books,just another way to fill their treasury and something for us to talk about:)

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  31. as always u give them a whack on their backside n do it as though it was all in a day's work..
    great read again alka:-)

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  32. @Tanishka...Superstitions and leadership do not go hand in hand...


    @BA....The book would be laugh riot...I am sure.Our neta log provide great fodder for amusement.

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  33. @Rajlakshmi....Trust them to amuse us and anger us..at all times.



    @Raksha...true.

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  34. @Suruchi....Thanks...Pollies provide great fodder for amusement.



    @sm....Thanks for reading.

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  35. hi, i like ur blog specially vo good bad vali post...u look like an experienced blogger...can u tell me how to get traffic on my new blog...
    imronil.blogspot.com
    i get only about 15 visitors per day...suggestions? Comments?...thanks
    P.S.: where is the follow me button on ur blog, i'd like to follow u

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  36. @Ronil....Thank you. Ronil I have been writing short stories for several years. The blog was started last year in August. It is not even an year old.My follow link is just above the popular post link on the right side.
    Regarding traffic, you have to start commenting on other blogs for people to come to yours. Also register yourself on Indiblogger and post your new write ups on Indivine.It takes time to find readers.
    Good luck.

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