Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Item Girl and Her O Moment

It is simply a sensational headline to draw you in. Now that I have your attention let me reveal that ‘O’ here stands for President Obama and not what you think. Sensationalism sells!

Is Obama’s charisma beginning to thin? Does he need a Jalebi Bai to bolster his poll prospects? Or is it the other way round? I close my eyes and what do I see? 

Times Square, Town Hall, New York, 2012. The President has started his re-election campaign. With the microphone in his hand and a spring in his step the Prez is serenading Ms Mallika Sherawat and crooning, “Maiya maiyya.” Ms Sherawat of course is shaking all she’s got and the crowd goes, “Yes, we can”. The theatrics over, Prez and Ms Sherawat enter the Air Force One and zoom to the next destination. 

I open my eyes. This can’t be happening. 

(On looting and raping women in Iraq, Donald Rumsfield the then Defence Secretary had said – It’s not uncommon. Stuff Happens)

Mallika's latest Hollywood movie, ‘Politics of Love’ is ready for release. In the movie she plays an Indian American Democratic volunteer, who campaigns actively for the US Prez for the forthcoming elections. Since she plays a Democratic loyalist in the movie, she plans to jump from her reel role to a real one.
“We are planning a premiere in Washington DC and I have told the President that I want him to be present. He very graciously told me to make sure to send the invite across. The rom-com movie will make such an interesting watch for the President,” she says. Sure.

After movies like Ugly aur Pagli (?), Ms Sherawat aka Reema Lamba went on to play the role of a princess in ‘The Myth’ opposite Jackie Chan.  At Cannes, she promoted her movie ‘Hiss’ with a live python around her neck. Unfortunately the movie bombed even though she did a Full Monty as a nagin. Undeterred she went a notch higher and is now publicizing her proximity with Obama. She sure has spunk and attitude. Acting skills and beauty? I am not sure.  PR skills - definitely! 

That brings me of another singer with ‘now present - now absent’ horns on her body - Lady Gaga. Pardon my ignorance but I have not heard her music. I know her for her esoteric dress sense, her meat dress and  the fact that she allegedly  siphoned money from a charity event. And to imagine that Taiwan will now celebrate Lady Gaga Day is as bizarre as it gets. Stuff Happens.

The situation is akin to Digvijay Singh hogging all the limelight by acting as Rahul baba’s male nanny. Who cares about others working at the grass root level but will never appear on TV as they are not interested in pillion riding the Crown Prince? Stuff Happens.

A shortcut to fame entails a marriage with any of the following - money, controversy, sensationalism and sycophancy.  So Delhi Belly is releasing on the first of July 2011. Will I go and watch the movie? I am not sure. But I know about the movie as it has crass yet catchy songs and a crazy tag line – Shit Happens. 

It sure does. 


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