Monday, September 5, 2011

Badle Ki Aag




If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? William Shakespeare

So you thought Anna was our nemesis. You thought you could hold a gun and force us to make suicidal laws according to your whims and fancies. And worse. You mocked us, belittled us and tarnished reputations. The movement is over. You have had enough fun at our expense. It is payback time folks.

That puny little Kejriwal, the angry young man will rue the day he initiated a movement against the state. The state which gave him a job and a loan of 80,000 rupees for a computer, can also give him sleepless nights. We sent a police team to his village to unearth his past wrongdoings. The police discovered that at age sixteen, Kejriwal once winked at a local girl. The police was unable to find that girl. Nevertheless, the police is now framing charges for misappropriate behavior. After all, the law has to take its own course.


And that theatrical ‘ghoonghat act’ by Kiran Bedi! She is looking for a role in a Yash Chopra movie or what? If only she was in service, she would be transferred to a place where no media has ever gone before. Bahut ho gaya, masti mazaak. It is time for law to take its own course. The governance might be in deep freeze but the revenge machinery works overtime. Behind the cultivated stoicism of ours, lurks a brute force. A force which neither forgives nor forgets.

What irked us most was the tipsy actor who called us ‘Ganwaar’. We are not sitting ducks that any common man can come and spit on the spotless khadi. We have set up a committee to research Hindi lexicons. The submission report tells us that ‘Ganwaar’ is a crossbreed of country lout and country bumpkin. That is beyond derogatory. All the mumbled apologies from Om Puri will not save his face (from being re-arranged).
Just like Salman, we let our fists do the talking.

And very soon that winky wonky Baba will disappear on his island in Scotland. Never to be seen again. Hasn’t his trusted aid vanished ? Being lawyers, the Bhushan duo are tough nuts to crack. Don’t be surprised if more such CDs come out from Amar jis potent arsenal.

What we are doing is not undemocratic. Remember what the biggest democracy in the world did to Julian Ass-ange, the father of Wikileaks? They slapped charges of rape. So what if the lady who was raped was sleeping? Its worse - raping a woman in deep slumber. And ever since that Ass-ange is running from one hiding to another.

But we are not America. We will not stoop to such levels. We play fair. We will do nothing to the writer of this blog post. If  she is found missing, try searching Tihar. She must have missed paying her electricity bill on time.After all, the law has to take its own course.
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53 comments:

  1. Hm... Tell my regards to Kalmadiji and Rajaji

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  2. :) hey at least if they do that you will be famous .. Can i get a team sent to my house too.. I am sure hundred of sleuths etc will be ready to do that .. after all GOVT FUND will be used for there travel oops Vacation to UK..

    Lovely sarcastic post ... Oh yes now the skeletons will come out one by one .. right or wrong whatever they are ...
    This is what is called Politics .. Mera Bharat Mahaan ...

    Bikram's

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  3. Wahh ji, Waah.. now that is called a strong come back! :)

    Amazing as usual! :)

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  4. @Harish...So you are secretly hoping that I land next to Kalmadi? Those who comment are also liable for punishment.

    @Bikram...Now I am scared, my blogger friends are secretly hoping that I land in Tihar.

    As they say, that those who live in glasshouses do not throw stones at others.

    @Sakshi...:) Thanks.

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  5. Hahaha! Marvellous post full of biting sarcasm. So, lets meet up for tea in Tihar, what say?:P

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  6. Hitting under the belt!! A heady mix of humor and sarcasm which only you can dish out!!Good work Alka.

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  7. yeaaah... Kanimozhi called..she's ok with u sharing her prison cell, but she wants u to know she takes the upper cot on the bunk bed :)

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  8. you in Tihar...that would be too bad for us :)
    Om puri ne ganwar kya bol diya..ki saare politicians pagal ho gaye....ye post padhne ke baad pata nahi kya karenge..LOL :)

    btw..I work in gurgaon...though I am not in gurgaon at this time...and I know the pain of commuting on roads....when it rains..especially when it rains :)

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  9. Wow..trying to wash your hands off this post after writing it..ur more brilliant than the Indian govt :P

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  10. Such a sharp sarcasm. It almost pinched me. :P

    Amazing as usual ma'am.

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  11. ha ha ha...loved it Alka...the way they handled Team Anna and the things they are doing now, i don't think they can understand this sarcasm :)...

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  12. Sarcasm at its best. IT department really behaved in a petty manner when it slapped a demand on Kejrival.Now Digvijay Singh says Kejrival raised crores while working with the Govt!When will they become sane? Of course when it comes to taking revenge, America is no different.

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  13. True, hurling abuses leads to nowhere, and sometimes just annoys a few. Speaking from a public platform, be it a pulpit or a forum, words should be moderated, if solutions are of importance. If propaganda and unrest is, go ahead.
    The police is waiting with tear gas and charge sheets of misdeeds either too petty to be framed otherwise, or were never committed in the first place.

    May you be seen in the same blog space in due time so that we don't have to go on a search. :)


    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  14. And all such government democratic acts fails in to get the desired results than the government can send them political invitation to fight the election from their side.. a win-win game :P

    Weakest LINK

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  15. Wonderful post and even more wonderful diplomacy :) I mean the disclaimer at the end. If nothing you will get a ticket to fight for them in the next election! Why take chances with the vindictive state especially with tough cyber norms in place, eh? If you disappear from blogosphere, rest assured that I will rush to be by your side after writing a biting post on my blog. That's what friendship is all about, right? So you can add to the Airtel jingle -- blasphemy karke jo jail saath aaye... :D

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  16. @cloudnine..It is the most happening hang out.


    @Rahul...Thanks, Rahul.

    @Pythoroshan...Raja wont allow me anywhere near Kani...and Kani might get a bed...I will have to sleep on the floor.

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  17. @Kunal...Rt. It is the same story after year after year.

    @Ana_treek...U got me. I chickened.

    @Prateek...Thanks dear. No new posts from you. Busy?

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  18. @SUB...They are so obsessed with saving their turfs.

    @Hariharan...Welcome here on Freebird. Madam is about to land anytime and Diggy has started yak yaking. Their defense is "So what if I am corrupt, you are corrupt too." As if two wrongs make a right.

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  19. I am scared that if they see my FB posts and my blog posts, privilege notice will be a small action on their part. They are so far removed from reality that it is quite pathetic.

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  20. @Anshul...Thanks dear for not wanting to see me land in Tihar. I knew I could count on you.


    @Rachit...If they join politics they will lose their righteousness.

    @Zephyr...I will wait for you with khane ka dabba. Tihar is closest to Rohini. But be careful. Those who come to meet me might also face some action.

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  21. Ooh Alka..again tongue firmly in cheek. Lady, you are living on the razor's edge.

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  22. Our MPS are are honest intellectuals engaged in serving the country selflessly. Disagree and get FEMA & Breach of Privilege as return gifts.

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  23. purba and you have quite a similar style of writing :) and i am on my way to to tihar already :)

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  24. Tihar is not that bad .. Only the RICH - and Famous make their way to the GOOD PLACE :)

    Bikram's

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  25. OOhhh.. loved your acidic way :) :)
    I will agree to most of your points... Sometimes every damn thing about law seems to be insane to me ;)

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  26. Better to comment Anonymously , otherwise i will land in tihar .

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  27. @Rachna...:)

    @Purba..Yup. Breach of privilege is a gift to the meek from the powerful.

    @Chintan...Why so? To meet Amar?

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  28. @Bikky...Latest entrant is Amar Singh.

    @Madhulika...I love it too.Only in writing.

    @Team G...I will have company, join me.

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  29. my god...of and when it happens, be ready for a bloggers demonstration outside Tihar:-)

    and ek zor ki lagaya sab ko...kaash sach mein lag pata!

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  30. Its high time for all of us to get up from our Kumbhkarni sleep and tell the Government that its a democratic setup, which simply does not mean that India can be turned to Libya. Anybody who stood against state was sent to Jail in emergency period also... so its nothing new but congress's shoddy style of Governance and our style of tolerance inherited from Gandhiji..!! May God bless all Indian citizens the requisite awareness about the truth of politicians and a new revolution comes up to eradicate the dirt of Indian politics forever..!

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  31. Lovely post! And the latest I hear on the sansani aajtak is Maya madam wants to send founder of wikileaks to the Agra asylum!

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  32. nice post...
    Love the sarcastic remarks!
    as usual..written very well!

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  33. Anna, Baba--It is not over, it is the begining

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  34. Seems Anna Hazare has really shaken India, all news about India even here talks about him only

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  35. @Vinod Arora...You are so right, but the malaise has seeped deep in our systems. It will take time to fight the system.

    @Richa...If she can ask her ministers to do sit-ups she can definitely send anyone to a asylum.
    @Harman..:)

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  36. @BKC..True sir.


    @Pesto Sauce...The social churning has begun...

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  37. I believe all the tough posturing will come to nought, just imagine a jail bharo andolan call will be difficult to handle for the administration

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  38. @Suruchi...I am counting on you for help.


    @Deguide...It is going to be one long fight. The state wont give in easily.

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  39. Great!! i don't think you will go to Tihar! Nobody's free will is affected! facts oly

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  40. Ah! What an exquisite piece of piercing humour! What a rare gem!

    You invoked the bard at the very opening and when you do that, you better be very, very good throughout the innings. And what followed thereafter did ample justice to the prologue.

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  41. @Jayanth...Thanks for the support.

    @SM:)

    @Umashankar..Your comment means a lot. Thanks.

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  42. I live in a world of my own, a world of my books actually and I am rarely aware of what's happening around me. But the Anna incident was so widely publicized that it didn't even escape me. Sigh. I have no opinion about this matter. About most such matter actually. But I come to your blog time and again because you are my window to what is happening in India. Your indignation is my indignation.

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  43. Freedom is just an illsuion.. we cry foul on human rights and do worser things


    hey the shakespeare quote sounds so familiar. I studied it in school...can you remind me the play

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  44. Awesome post. But Tihar looks doubtful. Tht is a 'VVIP' place now. They will however build a 'common-man' jail for us bloggers.

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  45. @Zeba...Well said.

    @Jon...Hi Jon. Thanks for reading.


    @Mayank...True...Tihar is high profile now.

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  46. Alka,

    I hope and pray that sense of humour is not dead like conscience in those about whom you write. I pray that may God give them wisdom to take this in a supportive way.

    Take care

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  47. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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