Monday, November 14, 2011

Slogan Time

Fingers Crossed. Nations youth icon, who takes baby steps holding Diggys fingers has launched his election campaign in UP. Dimpled Baba’s slogan is, ‘Utho, Jaago, Badlo’. Eh? Funny him telling us! I thought we were supposed to say that to him – Utho, Jaago, Badlo.

After riding the ‘Jai Ho’ campaign in 2009, Congress realized that ‘Jai Ho’ will not work this time. But we can’t expect them to say, “Galti ho gayi maaf karo, Rahul ka raasta saaf karo.”

So the Congress slogan goes like this, “Ghar ki luti laaj ka, dum todti sans ka, patri se utre vikas ka, ab ek ek baat ka…..Jawab Hum Denge.”

Hello ji. When? Jawab kab doge?

And considering Madam's stony silence, Jawab kaun dega? Diggy? Thank you but no thank you. We do not want his pearls of wisdom. That reminds me of an interesting tweet. A signboard in a conference hall said – please keep your phone in Manmohan Singh mode.

The news is that Congress’s UP campaign will be handled by three agencies, Percept, Crayon and JWT. Why spend money on these agencies? Congress should have initiated an on-line campaign for slogans. Many jobless people like me would have happily obliged. Free of cost.
But can one do anything about creative bankruptcy in politics? Not to mention the intellectual and leadership bankruptcy. Since it is a ‘do or die’ campaign for Rahul, his guardians want to play safe. So they hired three professional agencies. Apart from Raj Babbar, who is giving creative inputs for the young scions war cry.

If others want free advice, let me take an imaginary leap here.

For the BSP however the slogan can be:
“Congress ki phat gayi. Maya behen dat gayi.”

Behenji can also say, “Tum mujhe tax do, mein tumhe haathi waale park doongi.”

The BJP however need not spend any money on campaigns. They can simply say:

“Darne ki kya baat hai, Anna hamare saath hai.”

If they really want a slogan then here it is.

“Jo UP mein aata hai, wo hi desh chalata hai’

Madam par nishana hai,

Rahul to bahana hai,

Maya ko bhagana hai,

Advani ko laana hai.”

The joke goes that when Congress says, “Hamare paas Sonia, hai, Power hai, Sibal Hai, Pranab hai…tumhaare paas kya hai?”

The BJP sniggers back, “Hamare paas Kejriwal hai.”

Oh, I completely forgot that Mulayam Singh ji is also in the fray. The pehelwaan is down but not out. He can negotiate a ministry in case of a hung parliament. And since vengeance has to be played, indignant Samajwaadi loyalists can say:

Rahul Gandhi par Akhilesh Yadav bhari hai,

Amar Singh to chale gaye par Jaya Bachhan hamaari hai.”

The elections are three months away, but the excitement is palpable. The sad news for the voter is that they have to choose between the devil and the deep sea.

Utho, Jaago Badlo.

(The height of sycophancy:A slogan by A Congressman which was later withdrawn - Mata Bimaar, Mantrimandal lachaar, Rahul ji, netritva karo sweekar. much pressure on Baba)
Enhanced by Zemanta


  1. It is the Hobson's choice between Devil and the Deep sea! You have already summarized aptly in the last line!However , three cheers for all those innovative slogans! Hope those agencies read you to make a suitable offer!

  2. welcome to indian democratic circus :)

  3. The circus coming to UP in three months...

  4. Hahaha! Manmohan mode? LOL!!! So, circus is back in UP? Good luck to poor voters!

  5. “Congress ki phat gayi. Maya behen dat gayi.”..lolz!

    well seriously, the voters gonna ave a tough time deciding whether to plunge themselves in a deep sea or let the devil destroy them..sigh.


  6. Hehe! I took his slogan literally, "Mein so kar utha, jaaga aur kapde badale".

  7. wow..they should hire you rather than those three agencies-ekdum dhaanso slogans maare hain yaar...though try as i did, i could not imagine the sophisticated you mouthing these witty one liners...

    magar waah ji, yeh slogans likhna bhi ek talent hain-goes to prove what i always say that you are so multi-talented :-)

  8. Alka,

    My slogan

    "Alka ka Blog, Hansi ke Sath,
    Kataksh aur sach, fun ke Sath"

    Publish it in your next post - my tooti footi Hindi me slogan. :)))

  9. Lolz...i loved all d slogans! Nice sattires!! U r on fire!! Yo!


  10. The choice is between a dacoit and a highway robber.

  11. @Prateek...BRILLIANT.

    @Suruchi....I simply enjoyed writing this post.Thank you ji, for the taarif.

    @A....Awww...that was soooo sweet.

  12. @magiceye...Deepak, thanks.



  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

  14. Congress ki phat gayi, Maya behen dat gayi.........couldn't stop laughing

  15. Alka,
    The irony is, that this not a case just for the elections here in UP, but in all the elections.
    Starting from the root level.. to the top.. the poor voter has to choose between the worse, worst and more of that nonsense!!!

    But I loved your post! JUST loved it! :)

  16. LOL...Alka is on a roll...Congress ko Rahul G nahin Alka chahiye

  17. saade HAQ ithe RAKH...

    is my slogan to all these corrupt Khadi wearing cartoons , goons , idiots who RULE us ..

    and the youth needs a slogan
    Ikki Dukki Chak diyange
    Lod pai taan UDA diyange

    Then these Khadi wearing Bagula Bhagats might do something

    But your article as usual AWESOME :)


  18. #Loved this Alka.Tweeting and can you please enable mobile version of your blog? can be found on dashboard settings...

  19. Wonderful slogans. Have you sent them to the party offices? You will not remain unemployed anymore!

  20. very nice slogans :)
    I like the silent mode(manmohan singh)
    as usual hilarious!

  21. @Pesto sauce..:)

    Purba...This post is kind of mad...but I loved writing it:) We should give some entertainment tax to our pollies..they provide so much fun...

    @Bikky.. the problem is that they dont listen to our slogans like Sadda Haq...they keep coining their own meaningless slogans..

  22. @Chintan...Will do it now..

    @Zephyr....I hope I get noticed...But they wont employ me, instead send me a defamation notice perhaps...:)


  23. wittiest slogans :)

    Badlo!...'Change', lets hope the saying 'Be the Change we wish to see' not to turn a cliche in coming times.

  24. Excellent post.

    Between Maya behen, Rahul Baba and Mulayam dada, the common man is the loser!!

  25. Wonderful! Thanks for the update :D

  26. @Poonam...:)



  27. Hi Alka, I always leave your blog with a huge smile on my face. Slogans are something our governments are famous for.

    "Alka ka Blog,
    Sabse Alag,
    Jo Ayega,
    Khush ho Jayega"

    Please forgive my bad slogan. That's what I could manage for the time being.

  28. Hahaha...laugh riot all the way :)

    But the political situation is not funny. Though this post is! :D

  29. Alka,

    I think I should check your space on daily basis as to read so many posts at a time makes me so confused as to which one should be adjudged BEST. Each one is class in own standing. You summed up so beautifully and truly in last but one paragraph about F1. You have not seen GRAMIN SEWA ones in Delhi, have you? There will be a tough competition for Gold Medal in making people believe in God. It is so sad that we still have to learn to be gentlemen or ladies for use of some of social networking sites or for that matter even dais, not all of us but some surely. I can suggest a post poll slogan from winning party - AB TO TUM HAMEIN LE AAYE, AB SAB KUCHH BHAAD MEIN JAAYE. It is a pity we will never learn from our mistakes.

    Take care

  30. ROFL on the Mnmohan Mode :)
    anyways, indian politics and the naare baazi and the slogans are the best drama ever though realistically its saddening to see the poor condition of Indian politics...

  31. You know should really apply for the post of a slogan writer and maybe you could also write the speeches for Diggy and least then they might speak some sense.
    Awesome post :D

  32. Great. Interesting post.