Wednesday, November 9, 2011


The story goes like this. While visiting America, Winston Churchill attended a buffet luncheon where cold fried chicken was among the dishes served. A delighted Churchill returned for a second helping. "May I have some breast?" he politely asked. "Mr. Churchill," his hostess replied, "In this country we don’t say that, we ask for white meat or dark meat."
Churchill apologized profusely and the following morning sent the woman a magnificent orchid with an accompanying note. "I would be most obliged," it read, "if you would pin this on your white meat."

Those were Twitter-less times. Or else Churchill would have tweeted this witty note. His hostess would have tweeted back an equally interesting repartee. And while the two celebrities engaged in one-upmanship, the world would have had a tripping good time!

Twitter continues to be a tool for instant information - a tool to talk to the world.  But for celebrities it has become a prolific twattle-ground. On a personal note, I am not in favor of taking potshots in public. I simply vent my anger against establishment on my Facebook status. A few comments from friends reassure me that my anger is not misplaced. My anger stems against establishment. Against governance. Or the lack of it.  It is never personal.
Why then are celebrities clawing each other on twitter? Why has twitter become twicious and twasty? 

It all started when Modi and Tharoor engaged in a bitter twattle and ended up being vanquished by their own tweets. Then Sonam indulged in a twicious war with the writer and columnist Shobha De. I call it twicious for the comments were not merely below the belt. They were between the legs.
Guys pls don't take Shobha De seriuosly. She's a fossil who's getting no action and going through menopause,” tweeted Sonam.

Just when I was about to send my first tweet to the world Salman Rushdie and Taslima Nasrin started micro-clawing each other on Twitter.
“Be aware of Salman Rushdie! He wants to get girls in his ‘whipped cream’ range”, tweeted Nasrin.
Rushdie tweeted back, “Somewhere in the distance I hear the envious miaow of #Taslima-Nasreen being catty about me. Tut, tut, Taslima. #Shame #Lajja.”

Needless to say that Salman Rushdie and Taslima Nasrin made a spectacle of themselves, hurling virtual twitballs at each other. But Taslima did not learn her lesson. She went ahead and tweeted about Priyanka Chopra’s father. “What an uncouth idiot man.” Why? Because senior Chopra had simply said, “Priyanka is like a son to me”. Taslima found this innocuous comment derogatory for women. The father in a fit of emotions simply praised his daughter. He perhaps did not have women’s liberation on his mind. So even if Taslima thinks his comments were derogatory, why call someone’s father - uncouth? 

Just when Chetan’s new book was about to be released, he slammed Narayan Murthy for running a body shop. It was too much of a coincidence. The timing of Chetan’s tweet smacked of cheap twensationalism.

Recently Suhel Seth was  sued by ITC for Rs 200 crore for defamation. His crime? Suhel had tweeted, “Yogi Devesh will teach the insider trading course at Tihar School of Business.” If one repeatedly bad-mouths in public, people are bound to retaliate.Also if celebrities cannot reign in their thoughts, what about lesser mortals? We live in exciting times where the tweet about Ms Sawant insuring her privates makes news.

 Like any other, twitter as a tool, has two sides. It can be used to disseminate information, to share ideas, to convey thoughts and to express angst. Flip the coin and you can engage in twattles, twensationalism or twipmanship. 

The choice is yours tweeples. Have fun. But try avoiding washing laundry in public.


  1. LOL...yes, twitter has become a battle ground where twits can take potshots at each other. We may have advanced technologically, but we still squabble
    By the by, didn't know the word Twitter was so flexible. Kind of reminded me of the cartoon "Smurfs" where smurf could be used to replace any part of the speech.

  2. It really is about human nature. Words and the channels of expression are mere reflections of our inner selves. Curiously, when the emotions boil, all that is left is gestures. Man would eventually discover media of inflicting sufferings without using words to that end.

  3. I weigh twitter over any other networking. Instant news. Instant outrage. Instant fun. Witty battle ground. It condenses everything in 140 characters.
    Indian government also knows how lethal can Twitter be.
    Nevertheless, it's always fun on twitter, just follow right people.

  4. @Snow Leopard... ha, ha,..Ya, now that you say it, I am reminded of 'Smurfs' too.Given the Indian proclivity to yak-yak..twitter is Godsend.

    @Umashankar....Indians are highly opinionated and they want the world to know that they know...But public spats are undesirable.

    @Prateek...Fun it is, surely.Instant gratification.

  5. well the twitter stories dont seem to end. they continue to get spicy with some new 'victim' cropping up every now and then!
    Anyhow, the twattles of twitterland do serve as a delicious, refreshing dish to many among the masses!!


  6. Thats why i dont tweet :) does not impress me much especially when people write having lunch - doing this - doing that SO WHAT..
    and now all this too the fights .. well free publicity ke liye kuch bhi karega :)

    i find it waste of time .. shows the character of the people who do all this Twattles :)


  7. @Subtlescribbler...I guess it is the novelty of the medium and the urge to be noticed for some...

    @Bikram.....Ditto> i dont tweet for the same much can we talk in cyber space...My blog and FB are enough for me.

  8. its all about individual's behavior and interest .very well written and a very analytical post liked it

  9. I love the witty one-liners that fly faster than rockets on a Diwali night. Especially when an Agnivesh enters Big Boss or a Paris Hilton comes to town :)

  10. you do know you missed the #epic #girlgand episode?

  11. As usual very interesting, informative post with full of humor. :)))

  12. I am not on twitter by the way and wrote a post on Tweeting a long time back :)))) But not so interesting like this one.

  13. Mudslinging, hitting under the belt and a lot more have become suddenly such respected words in the world of Twitter,as a whole lot new terminology mentioned by you. A Tweetlicious post!

  14. Side-effects of too much twittering :D
    Loved the last para.. Smiles

    PS: Been away from blogosphere in past few days, hope u doing fine !!

  15. so much on twitter? i am missing all the fun!
    it sounds like free publicity platform for celebs...:)

  16. yup, it like an open parliament out there, where apart from intelligent debate.. instead of hurtling chairs at each other- people hurl tweets at each other.. people meaning- "Celebs"

  17. Twitter is good for getting instant news. As far as the celebs go, I don't bother with them either in the print or electronic media. Who cares what Rakhi Sawant did or said? It is instant publicity too when you have lakhs of followers, as in CB's case.

  18. Well sometimes there are particular people who start a fight, say something provocative. Others simply respond and refuse to let it slide. About Tasleema Nasrin, I feel she is a bit too touchy. She is a feminist to the core, and she sees women being insulted or their importance being downplayed in anything a man says.

  19. @someunspken words...Glad u liked it.

    @Purba...I love the witty one liners too...its Taslima and Rushdies fight which was so distasteful...people of their stature should have refrained fighting like kids.

    @Maniachunter...Sorry, but I am unaware. Pl enlighten. Pass on the link.

  20. @A...:) Am glad you liked it.

    @Rahul..Twank you.

    @Jyoti...I am good dear, hope you are enjoying life.Thanks for reading.

  21. @SUB...I dont tweet but I simply picked up from the news...There are major twattles being fought on twitter.

    @Zephyr...You are right, but since celebrities have lakhs of followers they need to rein in the thoughts and refrain from indulging in silly fights on twitter.

    Samadrita...Oh, yes. Twitter is a great tool to poke people or to press the wrong buttons.And then catfight escalates into a full blown war.

  22. i am also a facebook loyalist and stayed away from twitter for a long time-recently rejoined and enjoying the banter that many blogger friends indulge's like talking in space i feel...

    however with celebs, even their space is not theirs!
    at least we are getting food for let them tweet their breasts out;-)

    loved the opening repartee too!

  23. Super post! What a twaste of time:P FB is much better and i too share your same view- rant in FB, draw some comments. Thats it. No personal loathing and twattle there!

  24. @Suruchi...Healthy banter is good. Entertaining. But personal fights like Taslima and Rushdie are juvenile considering their stature.

    @Cloud nine....Twanks dear.

  25. Twitter has indeed become a game of one-upmanship, with every celebrity tweeting about things I am sure none of us are interested in reading. Great post, Alka

  26. Yes,twitter as a tool, has two sides. I like it for its instantaneous information, and hats off for the awesome witty heads on twitter.

    regarding the angst from varied fields, throwing tweets on each other, well its kind of spice..bland is not always that good ;)

    I know am after really really long time here, sorry for it.

  27. Good entertainment for the onlookers!!

  28. loved all the tattle about twattles!

  29. Rachna..:)

    @Poonam...Long time. Hey, u dont have to apologize. The wiity comments sure are spicy and interesting.



  30. Technology for us. Twitter is a best place to share our opinion within a limited words. We have to decide how we will use this technological revolution. If our thinking and opinion is good result will be definitely good.

  31. I am not a twitter person either...its a good place to share opinions but then may lack of time doesn't allow me to do that!
    Technology is biggest boon we have today !

  32. Nice post! surely we need to monitor our tweets.

  33. Loved this post and the way you have "twanalysed" it :-)

  34. Incisive, witty and humorous. Awesome post! Loved it esp the twicabulary you've created :) So did you finally tweet? :)

  35. Interesting thoughts on Twitter. Hope ppl would think twice before Twitting!!

  36. Thank you Ajay not yet...Still dithering.

  37. I second that! The virtual world is omnipresent and everyone is lashing out at each other openly and launching a tirade of abuse.

    #Epic post


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