Yes, the title is designed to do exactly that – tease. And no, it has nothing to do with the word it rhymes with. Well, chiptease is the latest entry in the urban dictionary. What does it mean? You buy a bag of chips thinking that it will be full of chips, but when you open the bag it is barely full, is chiptease. Over promise, but under deliver.No wonder then that nothing weighs lighter than a promise.
Don’t we get chipteased in every walk of our lives?
Politicians, builders, and advertisers all chiptease us when they promise the earth and the sky. And eventually we realize that all the tall promises were a bagful of air.
How about going for a guy who promises the least? In all probability, he will be the least disappointing.
But, why blame others. When it comes to advertising we conveniently dress in hyperbole. Ever wondered how all the girls in matrimonial advertisements are fair, tall and beautiful? By some strange logic most boys are tall, well placed and handsome.
Marketing is all about teasing. The clever jugglery of words and phrases like ‘up to 50% off’ and ‘conditions apply’ are all marketing chipteasers. The moment you close eyes to the ‘Up to’ tag, you are in for a big hole in the pockets. Large enough for Harbhajan’s balls to pass through. Clarification. I am referring to the ball bearings he made in an alcohol advertisement.
The recent chiptease cleverly executed by master chipteaser Kapil Sibal and supported by his cronies has resulted in mayhem on the streets. Only this time his chicanery was caught by the people and the government stood exposed. Just like Shakti Kapoor in his underpants! The chiptease became striptease. Finally the cameo role was allotted for the mighty Pranab da, the official counselor of disputes.
This decade has redefined more than a few words so that modern writing has become cryptic. The new words become a part of our lexicon only if they remain relevant like twitter and Bluetooth. In my earlier post I had written about new words like sofalize( Socialise from the comforts of home) and coffice( Having coffee in office) but both have become irrelevant due to lack of usage. And English is a funny language. From chiptease to striptease, it is all about relevance and usage.
Here is my humble attempt at poetry in Hinglish. You will appreciate it only if you have heard the latest Airtel jingle. Imagine the pauses and the drumbeats at appropriate places.
DESH JO CHAHE, DOOR LE JAAYE
Jaise ship ke liye …..captain hota hai
Aise desh ke liye…. neta hota hai, par har ek neta zaroori hota hai!
Koi subah 7 baje arrest karaye, koi midnight dande barsaye
Koi fascist koi anarchist hota hai , but har ek neta zaroori hota hai!
Koi har deal mein paise banaye, koi many times foreign trips lagaye
Koi psycophant koi communal hota hai, but har ek neta zaroori hota hai!
Koi jhoot bole aur hamein behkaaye, koi silence se hamein pakaaye
Koi grassroot, koi crown prince hota hai, but har ek neta zaroori hota hai!
Koi desh ko bech khaye, pakde jaane par victory sign dikhaye
Koi immoral, koi 86 hota hai, but har ek neta zaroori hota hai!
Kis kis ke naam par desh roz rota hai, par har ek neta zaroori hota hai.