Friday, November 23, 2012

Do's and Don'ts





Ever since the opening of an email account, I have embraced the virtual world so devotedly that on days the internet is inaccessible, I feel a surge of uneasiness. However, I am still grappling with  virtual etiquette. Given that several hours are spent interacting with people I have never met, there are bound to be misunderstandings and mistakes. Which is why, I have made some resolutions. Here we go.

I shall refrain from checking random videos and pictures while writing. It is a serious distraction. Plus ‘Liking’ can land one behind the bars.
I shall not display my wry wit and comment on status updates which are meant for a close group of old friends. Being impatient and emotional to boot, I often end up commenting on an impulse. Recently I saw pictures of a distant cousin and his girlfriend formally dressed (boy in a suit and the girl in a sari with henna on her hands). Imagining that they got engaged, I congratulated them effusively on Facebook. I goofed up big time! The pictures were clicked on Diwali and there was no engagement.

I shall refrain from mindless voting/ promoting/liking unless I genuinely like the thought, content or writing style. Please don’t hate me for my honesty. Just as we need to dilute the virtual venom, we also need huge dollops of honesty in the virtual world. Now, don’t tell me you are always honest in praise. Didn’t you press ‘Like’ on the picture of Bhatinda wali Buaji even though you thought she looked hideous in her new hairstyle?

I shall not be patient with virtual zombies who are neither bloggers nor readers but are deeply concerned about my well being. Perhaps fits of boredom can drive people to try their luck in the cyber world. Hope lies eternal. Keep throwing arrows. Will hit somewhere!

So each time the guy in Dubai pings, “How’s you? Wassup?” I shall not lose my cool. Just as I did today when I replied, “I am good. How are you?”
Imagine my surprise when the guy said, “You looks good.”
“How about you,” I asked.
“I look good too.”
“Since you look so good why not upload your real profile picture instead of Salman’s?”
“I look better than him.”

I ran out of patience after this. But this provided enough fodder for a post.

I shall not fret on extra righteous comments made on my articles which are meant to be witty or sarcastic. Some people take life rather seriously.
I shall not get pissed by a comment which says – ‘Nice Post’ and has a blog link suggesting/implying that it is now time for me to visit the link and reciprocate.
I shall never leave the cake in the oven when I am on the internet. The husband had to gulp the piece with great difficulty. I do feign innocence by saying that dishes get overcooked when I am busy with other chores. But I guess the family knows what exactly happens.
I shall listen to my mother carefully each time she calls and not quip, “Ma, I will call you back. I am writing,” even when I am Facebooking with utmost dedication. Later on this makes me more guilty than having too many chips.


Finally, I will give more importance to real friends. Yes, even though they have dropped me like a hot-potato and are busy rattling witty one-liners and liking posts of virtual friends. Isn't it safer to like and share in the real world?

Too many resolutions?. What the heck! Making them is always easy. Keeping them is tricky.

Image Courtesy: Google images/ www.dreamstime.com

53 comments:

  1. Oh Alka, I really wish I could follow all that, and you got that right; making the resolutions but not keeping is easy :-)
    The Engagment one was lol, but seriously that so happens na.I mean why the mehendi on diwali? I mean where is the time to read and then like a photo. And yeah food getting overcooked, that happens in every household.. But somehow, sitting on the net or writing is way better than watching Saas Bahu, i think. But again that's a personal choice! "Nice post" :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The girl is American and perhaps she wanted to indulge in the festival the traditional way.

      And hey, 'nice post' jibe was not for old friends.

      :)

      Delete
  2. NICE POST :)
    and You Looks GOOD :)

    sadly i dont look gooder than salman :)

    he he he hehe he eh

    Ok I have had my laugh now and you can CALM down .. deep breaths .. count 1 t o10 .... .



    yeah now its ok coming to the post .. Nice one .. hold it there I did not say "nice post" I said "Nice one " :)

    now that is a long list of do's and dont's , all the best with that .. hope you get to keep a few of them ..
    and yes More importance ot REAL friends , I will agree to that as Blog friends and online friends I am getting very very wary of that too.. dont know who is who anymore ...


    Take care
    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, ha....After tolerating me regularly for more than three years, you can "nice post' me for another 3 years . I wont mind.

      Delete
  3. These can be the Dos and Don'ts for me too!! Very valid points...
    The 'Howz you? Wassup?' chats have stopped as I have done spring cleaning of my FB 'friends'. There was a phase when every TDH was added, but not anymore!
    FB is a wonderful entertainment, if you have nothing better to do... just stare at your wall and see the fun roll down every few seconds. But it is a big distraction, when you are simultaneously doing something else on the laptop!
    BTW, Nice Post! :D ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure, it is wonderful entertainment and a great place to observe social behavior.

      Ha, ha...but where is your blog link?

      Delete
  4. May I share this on Facebook??:) It is so worth reading!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please do. Thanks for the appreciation.

      Delete
  5. Morality is a deadly beast. It has no definite shape, size or hue. It varies from man to man, human to human, blogger to blogger, desperado to desperado. Yet, all that one needs to be wary of, is the heart that beats within.

    That is a perfect set of commandments, not that someone like you needs any of it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Always always remain offline on Facebook. That was one of the most important resolution which I made and followed. It saves a lot of time, believe me.
    Reading your resolutions, I remember a chat with a friend who told me that he desparately needed a 'your child is so ugly' button in Facebook because of the number of his friends reproducing at an alarming rate. Mean. I know. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thats the way.
      :)Thats seriously mean.

      Delete
  7. Oh! yes, you looks too good.
    I too gets chat messages like these sometimes.
    Cannot block the guys cos' they are from the blogsphere.
    But, I turn the chat off.

    Good one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Weirdos...thats what some of them are. One person got upset and said, " Since you have no time for my valuable friendship,I have decided to unfriend you."

      Delete
  8. Alka,

    Much needed advice. I am not on FB and do not intend to be. I agree with you about honest praise or criticism as that shows the actual worth of the person.

    Take care

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well said. FB and Twitter are addictive.They occupy a lot of mental space.

      Delete
  9. nailed right on the head !
    loved ur resolutions ..Hope to follow some. Specially FB is creepy these days
    . Even after u forget some pic or post u still get notifications as U liked the m a century back. wen some other likes it u get notification. U gotta explicitly turn off the notfcns :(

    Anyway Good one ..I dont even chat with these people who Ping for the heck of it and ask How does ur husband treat U ? hows life treating U ?
    I have restricted and put them in DONT TALK LIST :P

    Agree with most of ur resolns though following needs lil patience and to not be impulsive which am to the brim :)

    HAPPY NEW YEAR in adv

    U looks good :P ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear. I am good.
      Are you in Hyderabad? No chance of coming back to Gurgaon?

      Delete
  10. A true Alka style post, holding back nothing and telling it as it is. Virtual saccharine, virtual venom, virtual opinions are all things one need to steer clear of, just as one needs to lay more store upon real friends as compared virtual ones. And yea, do reply mom's call next time when she calls :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This was an impromptu post....there one Hindi word for it....Velapanti.

      You know, mom lives alone and she really wants to talk ...I understand but then there are moments when I snap.

      Delete
  11. Now, my gajar ka halwa might be burning while I sit here reading this. Let me stir it once :P..Ok, back. What? people are inviting through FB? My god!! anyway, good luck with the dos and don'ts. :) yes, FB is addictive. Planning to deactivate my account, but was wondering will I be able to stay without checking in what's going on? :) Btw, you looks really good. This not for praise, I mean it :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, dont deactivate it. Its addictive but one has to know where to draw the line. Stir the halwa, then check messages....Stir the halwa, then check messages.....Stir the halwa, then check messages...

      :)

      Delete
  12. was laughing thinking of that poor cousin ( the 'engaged' bit )... imagine his condition when he reads your congrats :D

    But on a more serious note, have been doing the same thing this year - spring cleaning my priorities and making room for true friends instead of the 100s we've acquired ( real or online ) who dont mean anything to us. And it has been really rewarding catching up with old good friends, strengthening some bonds which were shaky for no particular reason..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly it was embarrassing.FB and Twitter do occupy a lot of mental space.

      Delete
  13. Amen to that, Alka! I have been grappling with these myself. And have already put some of the commandments into practice. My real family and friends are taking precedence now. Thank you for writing what I have been feeling for some time now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so good at multitasking...I wonder how you do it. Hats off! Truly.

      Delete
  14. at times we all feel like following these tips but again most of us just get carried away and start doing all those acts again....but seriously one must set a limit for his/her online activities bcoz one way or other it certainly has an impact on our personal n professional life...

    BTW... nice post :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Well,most of us have same Dos and Donts...But,at least I amunable to stick to all the norms once I sit on my laptop.
    Chalo,lets see

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its just that FB and Twitter occupy a lot of mental space....

      Delete
  16. It feels deja vu.. I- have-seen-this-before kinds

    :)

    keep smiling. keep writing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am sure you have....Most of us feel the same way.

      Delete
  17. Ohhhh!!!! So funny! I think I can say this, no? Lovely resolutions, though I liked the 'looking better than Salman' guy. Can I have his profile link, please?;) He is to see a Katrina Kaif ;) Most of the resolutions ring true, I wish I could adopt them too and save the husban from burnt cakes;)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good one! Its not only burnt cakes...its over cooked vegetables, spilled milk and worse...forgetting to wish sis-in-law a happy birthday!

      Delete
  18. hmm lol so funny ..batuhda wale buaji..ha haaa
    its sad point somewhere thinking its a bulls eye ..
    to certain extent we should refrain ourself frm net and FB but then its kinda addiction ... but I sometimes laugh so loudly at the comment list ..it gives a full doze of laughter ..

    hope you stick to your dos and donts!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its entertaining surely...but often occupies excess mind space.

      Delete
  19. Gr8 post, esp on the eve of the new year. We all have en there and done that on the virtual world. while it can be stimulating and addictive, it consumes ur time big time. I am happy none of my neighbor and many college friends are not that active besides my siblings too not being here. So, they r my anchor in the real world.

    BUt we cnt deny, perhaps the biggest advantage of FB is networking.

    Loved the point where the food getts overcooke :)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :) True. Its a great networking tool.

      How have you been Aabha. Its so good to see you here.

      Delete
  20. As the Joker ( The Dark Knight fame ) would say, " Why so serious " :) :)

    The cousin story is hilarious :P, if that is any consolation :).

    I guess I just fail to see the need of regulation. Could be my nature, could be the phase of life I am in. I am not sure. But I guess, if I need to think before saying something- on networking sites or in real life, then maybe I should not say that at all.

    But I do agree with the genuine likes and comments. Social networking sites have an inherent conformity clause, which only the ambitious few test :) A couple of days back my friend, who published his first book, took me out for a movie. JTHJ :) And when I put up this update on fb about movie being nonsense and retrograde, one friend from school messaged me trying to justify why SRK is the lord of pyaar mohabbat :D :D

    Your posts are always fun to read Ma'm :) Thank you so much !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess, I saw that communication between you and the other guy. And since it was between two young friends, I did not comment on it. But the beauty of social media is that varied viewpoints can co-exist.

      I blog only because informed and objective readers like yourself make the experience meaningful. This was just an impromptu post...aise hi...

      Delete
  21. Umm...Nice post! *thinks to leave her blog link so that Alka gets pissed off and gets enough fodder for yet another superb post* :P

    Well, yes... this actually is a nice post. Easy to read and associate too.
    Time well spent! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The 'Nice post' jibe is coming back to haunt me in more ways than one..Ha, ha...

      Thank you dear for spending the time. Appreciate it.

      :)

      Delete
  22. So,did you 'unfriend' the Dubai dude who looked good?Hehe..Seriously ,these random DMs are irritating to say the least.Hats off to you that you made an attempt to talk to the conceited guy!
    Sigh!Mothers and their evening phone calls ..we are all too familiar with those..My house,nobody picks up the 7pm landline call ,they leave it to me.Why she does not call on my mobile ?Sigh and a deeper sigh to that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, not yet. So far he is a harmless social acquaintance...And who doesnt like to hear 'you looks good'. To respond or not is my choice..Right?

      Same story here. But my mom lives alone and is desperate to talk to me...hence the guilt.

      Delete
  23. But if you keep them, there is nothing like it. But it is a nice post :)
    Some things I am also planning to put in practice. Let's see how it goes.

    ReplyDelete
  24. The"NICE POST" jibe is coming back in such interesting ways that I am begining to like it...:)))

    ReplyDelete
  25. So tempted to write "Nice post" but I shall refrain.

    Facebook is such a pleasurable waste of time. No wonder we are all gladly addicted to it.

    Please, please tell me the conversation with that Dubai guy was a figment of your imagination!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :)

      Off late it is occupying too much mind space...the writing part gets affected.

      We all get too many " Hows you" pings...:) and then they dont know what to say.

      Delete
  26. Alka, resolutions related to FB, blogs and other time consuming activites are meant to be broken! Ask anyone who has'nt:)

    ReplyDelete
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