Friday, October 3, 2014

Modi Diet

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Modi’s fasting fusillade has created a firestorm. For once a section of feminists won’t sneeze at women who will observe a fast this Karwachauth. As you watch Modiji conduct business meetings, address rock concerts where he’s wowing fans and rattling off Star Wars quotes, destroying Nawaz and his detractors in the path to attain God like status - you know that you can stay without food for a day. Looks like Star Wars quotes were written with magnificent Modi ji in mind – ‘Never tell me the odds’, ‘I think I just blasted it’, ‘I find your lack of faith disturbing’.....

The Pied Piper of Ahmedabad cooked a raw meat of his critics on a gentle fire of abstinence to inspire all those who wanted to learn a thing or two about self-discipline. So Bachi Kakaria rightfully said, “Modi did globally for the Navratra fest what Ekta Kapoor had done domestically for Karwachauth. However many ‘Kem Chhos’ Obama mouthed, on people’s lips it was Modi’s grueling regimen that abjures even the sabudaana gruel that lesser fasters slip in.”

After watching Modi ji survive, God bless him, on hot water, I am engulfed by pangs of guilt. You see, fasting doesn’t come easy to me. Not without the basic minimum diet of fruit and milk. And yet, despite the fruit and milk regimen, I resemble MMS by the end of the day – comatose and indifferent. Part of the reason why I am unable to survive fasts is because I never fasted as a kid. Except for one ritual where fasting was more fun than a strict regimen. You know the one where you enjoy boiled potatoes with rock salt, fruit chaat with chaat masaala, tea with ginger and a big glass of lassi with lots of cream. So naturally, the arrival of October fills me with awe and admiration for those who stay without food or water, and yet have the energy to dress up in bridal finery looking all lovely and breathtakingly gorgeous.

Moreover, for me, traveling and fasting never go hand in hand. I mean, unless you have food or a glass of milk at night, prior to the early morning flight, how do you go? You know what I am talking about. We Indians have a time for going. If we miss the date, the entire day goes for a toss. Don’t balk at the thought. These are serious concerns. What if you have to take psyllum husk (Isabgol for the uninformed) for smooth evacuation? Is husk allowed during a fast? What if you are unable to find the nearest Les Cabinets after drinking lots of water?

Regardless, all the future PM contenders will never be able to beat Modi ji unless they can observe his strict form of penance - a fast for nine days for thirty-five years on both Navratris – autumn and winter. Our Amethi boy has to match this ritual – no sabudaana lasagna and no kuttoo ka pasta. Not even at dusk. Not even if   devoted party men insist.

So this time, with Karwachauth looming large, Modi ji is going to be my inspiration. May the Force be with me! And for the daring Congressman who said this about the Madison square crowd, “If you give free food and free tickets, anyone can gather a crowd,” here is a quote from The Phantom Menace-
Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering.
 Take that!

(For the bhakts, don't kill me. This is called appreciation. Because every time I appreciate Modi ji, some netizens throw egg on my face without reading the article! Alas, such is thy devotion. And for the Congressmen, well, times are bad. Not easy to find fault with the man. Err, phenomenon. Right Tharoor? )


Watch Jon Stewarts hilarious take on Star Wars Quote by PM Modi

37 comments:

  1. I am with you on the travails of fasting AND Modi's charisma.This man has real out of box thinking but it is no shosha.Today he addressed the country on DD and the Congress finds fault with even that.Does opposition mean opposing for opposition's sake?Can a PM not address his countrymen without it inviting baseless criticism?

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    1. Honestly, the radio talk was innovative and much needed to develop some nationalistic fervor.

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  2. Your statement in parentheses at the end of the post makes your post much more interesting! Yes it is indeed a great feat to observe such fasts and many Indian yogis have showed this again and again, some of them even following a heavy work routine while fasting continuously for days. Human endurance is limitless perhaps especially when the inner intention is good and noble. This was a good read, Alka.

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    1. Thank you for the appreciation Beloo. The man is an enigma.

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  3. Hmmm - Never fasted till date. Tried dieting, though, and found that I was 'giving in' to my temptations three times a day - so much so that the 'diet' ended up being an over-eating period thanks to the stout rebellion my body put up against the very thought of abstinence. AND, a grueling day? Starving OR torpid with food, the very thought is abhorrent :)

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    1. One needs years of training, I believe.

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  4. Fasting is good for health. Max. fasting I have done is skip meals for a night! Can't even imagine fasting for nine days - kudos to ppl. who can do that. I hope I can match this feat someday, but am skeptical :)

    Destination Infinity

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  5. Talk of 'walking the talk', and not dismissing any possibilities of 'undercover dhoklas', I think he is doing a pretty good job of being the leader who leads from the front (like old senapatis) in contrast to our war generals who sit back and plan. I don't think people should become complacent, or at least the media, and should try some sting operations to try and reveal the true nature of things (and I hope he comes out clean because there might be flaws but it takes certain rigor and austerity to develop such a character). It is okay to be cynical, but is equally imperative that he be given his due share of praises too (which would require us, to develop some character of our own), and also take the optimum amount of inspiration from him, like you did. Hence, best of luck with Karva Chauth. I just hope he doesn't step up the ante by fasting on Karwa Chauth. You know, it can take away the sting from the bee. (Reference: Surendra Sharma on Karwa Chauth)

    Regards,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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    1. Interesting link there.
      The American media was skeptic, suspecting a snack bar in his suitcase. Regardless, the man is different, unlike his predecessors.

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  6. This was soo gooood!!! I know Isabgol also. :D
    I tried fasting this Navratri.Broke it up on day 2. :(
    Whatever people say...there is something majestic about this Modi guy.

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    1. There is something indeed. Thanks Red.

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  7. I love all the experiments that Modi is trying. I am a firm believer in communication. Let the leaders talk to the people often. Let the leaders be keyed in to what people wish and feel. About fasts, I can't do them. Luckily, in my childhood never did any. Started Karwa Chauth after marriage but stopped it since last year. Luckily, the husband pushed me to stop punishing my body. Wish you good luck for the fast that is fast approaching. :)

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    1. Thanks for the luck, need loads of it. :)

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  8. To answer Karwa Chauth with hot water, the Modi* way this is not. In this war, a danger there is, of losing who we are.

    (* pronounced məʊdaɪ )

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  9. Hats off to him. When I fast, even after a over generous dose of fruits, milk and nuts, I am a zombie past noon. I need proper Indian Khaana to survive.

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  10. I have never fasted. Never a fasting person either. Seriously, hats off to all these people who fast so religiously especially during the ramdaan season. Good luck for the fast...you will survive...ek din ki baath hai ..:P...hats off to Modi once again :)

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    1. Ha ha..yes, I will survive. Hopefully.

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  11. Even I wondered how he could do it and that too in the midst of such hectic activity and so much travel ! Fast is alien to me..never done it in my life..without food, I slip into torpor or hibernation alternated by the occasional pangs of a splitting headache :) All the best for your fast !

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  12. Hah! Even better than the delightful post was the last para disclaimer!
    How timely for Modiji to have demonstrated to the world that there is life beyond food. Really handy advice for his friend and peer Jayalalithaji these days, don't you think?

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    1. Poor J. Fasting or feasting - she has to hold the remote control now. With 12,000 saris and 750 shoes, she is all decked up but nowhere to go.

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  13. Being on a fast and holding meetings with world leaders and public speeches... oh yes, that had me look at him with more reverence than I ever did before. but even if I do consider him an inspiration, I doubt I could achieve those levels :P
    Awaiting the post that you will put up about your Karwa Chauth fast ;)

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    1. No more posts about fasting Seeta...:) the thought of going without food gives me a headache.
      But yes, the man is a phenomenon. So far, so good.

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  14. The man is a "phenomenon" like you rightly put. And so far, a good one. Much better than some of the previous ones. But there is a slight problem with the post - for me, that is; I got distracted by the thought of all the food - so needless to say, fasting is beyond me. Good luck :)

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    1. Your good wishes are helping me today. Half the day is over, a few hours to go...

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  15. hmm the head of state or a person like prime minister fasting doesn't make sense. fasting will help only to detoxify one's body and it benefits only one person,but a prime minister should indulge in detoxifying thoughts which will benefit millions of people. whats the use of fasting when you spend millions of dollars in organising crowds and campaign on foreign land when people in assam and kashmir are dying without food and water due to floods.i find his spending on advertising himself very irresponsible as a leader.cnn din't give him any coverage coz they have intelligence inputs that they are all organised to show off.rock star reception means,when you set a price for a ticket,people will buy with craze.its not like going to people and asking DO YOU WANT TICKETS.

    i don't belong to any political party,but his actions brought shame to indian patriots.when journalists were waiting for joint press conference,obama din't come even to press room,he said few words sitting in chair.why to create such hype when you don't get importance or attention from anyone on foreign land.

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    1. Hi Rohan,glad you expressed you views.
      Observing a fast or any other ritual is a personal matter, even if it is a head of a state. We all need to purify our thoughts as one person can only lead by example. Perhaps, Modi did not advertise about his fast but the over enthusiastic media went ga ga over every minute detail about his clothes, his gifts,his routine etc. Our media needs a sense of balance and maturity, yes. I agree that all the hype and hoopla could have been tempered.

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  16. There is something about Modi, even his haters know it. And that something makes him equivalent to royalty.
    I know how it is to fast . No, not a fan of that :D

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  17. This could easily be passed off as a Bachi Karkaria write-up. You sound uncannily liker her.

    I say more power to fasting women. One look at them decked in their Karvachauth finery and the brightly lit Times Square pales in comparison.

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    1. That is high praise. Love the way she plays with words.

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  18. What worries me is...after his term gets over,Obama may want to try fasting during Navratras and Ms Obama observing Karwachauth

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  19. Fasting on good Friday was easy for me when I was at work (never took leave on Good Friday) but staying at home and fasting is a tall order.
    All said and done Modi is doing a good job as the leader of the country.

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