Deer In The Headlights

I seldom watch ‘Frankly Speaking’ on Times Now. My pulse quickens, my head throbs and I am unable to sleep. What is the point of watching relentless accusations where you profess respect, but shut your opponents the moment they open their mouth? When the news anchor has a patience of a two year old, there isn’t much to take away, is there?

I did however watch the entire Rahul Gandhi interview and my vital parameters are normal, thank you. Though the onslaught of jokes in the aftermath of the interview has numbed my senses. 

If anything, this one-on-one raised more questions than answers.

Self-Goal Rahul seems to be a good person in the wrong place. It was evident that he is detached and shallow in his thinking about national issues. In his own words, he is an ‘anomaly’ in the system. For all we know, he could have been a brilliant photographer, a prolific painter or an amazing artist. Why, he could even be a sensitive social worker. But a politician, a leader or an administrator?
Hmm...

Faux-Live? Why call the interview LIVE when the interview was recorded on Saturday? Some journalists claim to have received the transcript an hour before the interview was supposedly telecast LIVE on Monday.So does this mean that the interview was edited? If yes, who gained from the editing? Rahul or Arnab? According to DNA, Jairam Ramesh and Priyanka prompted Rahul from behind the camera! For any discerning viewer it did appear as if Rahul was seeking reassurance from someone in the Jawahar Bhavan room.

No Personal Questions Please Why did Arnab not talk about Bofors or his brother-in-law? Perhaps, Arnab was equally foxed by the confused dignity of his guest. Or maybe, it was agreed that no personal questions about the family will be asked! Things seldom work unless there is a quid pro quo.

Selective Amnesia After the interview, the 1984 riot issue has exploded again on Times Now. Was it a ploy? And why talk about 1984 and 2002 only? We have witnessed more than fifty riots after independence.

According to an article in Outlook, that there have been “58 major communal riots in 47 places since 1967. Ten in South India, 12 in East, 16 in West and 20 in North India. Since 1964, Ahmedabad has seen five major riots and Hyderabad four. The 1990s saw the most riots in the last five decades: 23. The 1970s saw seven riots, the 1980s 14; the 2000s have seen 13. Total toll: 12,828 (South 597, West 3,426, East 3,581 and North 5,224). In 1964, a wave of rioting in Calcutta (now Kolkata), Jamshedpur and Rourkela killed 2,500.”
Yes, the wounds of 1984 and 2002 are fresh. Agreed, that the media needs to question accountability and demand justice. But why ignore all the other riots after independence?

Politics of Apology After Rahul, it is a given that Modi is next on the hot seat. He will be made to apologize for the mayhem of 2002. While I understand the relevance of an apology, will a half-hearted ‘sorry’ mumbled under the pressure of polls or a hostile anchor mean anything?
Unless the perpetrators are brought to justice, ‘Sorry’ is just a five letter word. Apologizing in the true sense means that you feel the pulse of victim’s pain as well as your own. Above all, a genuine 'Sorry' is about delivering justice. Everything else is hogwash.

Who Gained? The biggest gainers from the Rahul Gandhi interview are the BJP and Arnab Goswami. News is that Rahul will now be available for more such media interactions. But the first mover advantage is clearly Arnab’s.

What did I gain from the interview? Well,  those going to Cambridge and Oxford need not necessarily be good leaders. Or good anchors.

Picture: www.panoromio.com

Mad Men, Dacoits and Item Girls

All because the honorable Home Minister called the honorable Chief Minister of Delhi, ‘Yeda', some reporters experienced multiple orgasms. Excitedly, they went around town, shoving microphones, collecting sound bites on this Yeda remark.

“What do you think about Shinde Ji calling Kejriwal ‘Yeda’?

Clearly the media was fishing for more. Maybe they were expecting someone to quip, ‘Tu Yeda, Tera Baap Yeda, Tera khaandaan Yeda.’ 
Thankfully, no one obliged.

When reporters asked Mukhtaar Abbas Naqvi of the BJP to comment on the ‘Yeda’ remark, he said, “I have nothing to say about, ‘Yeda, Peda or Bakheda’.”

And if this was not enough, Udhav Thackeray Ji called the Aam Admi party an ‘Item Girl’ of politics. Eh? Trust Chetan Bhagat to ignite such controversy.
Never mind! You don’t disagree with Shiv Sena unless you are on a suicide mission.

Almost immediately, responsible media rushed towards Ms. Sawant to get her valuable inputs on this important national development. A more than happy Rakhee stirred, dabbed some pan cake, and emerged to express her priceless opinions on IIT-ian Kejriwal. According to her, Kejriwal is corrupt. Phew!

Yeh din bhi dekhna tha, I tell you.

So the lady was not offended by the item girl remark. I don’t blame her. You need two or three grey cells to recognize a back handed compliment. Frankly, this game of calling names is complicated. I am scratching my own head to understand who insulted whom!

Just when I thought I had enough, Mulayam Ji dared Modi Ji and implied that Modi ji’s ‘aukat’ was not enough to change the fortunes of UP. Modi ji, in his testosterone dipped voice roared that you need a ‘chappan inch ka seena’ to govern a state. The responsible media rushed to get counter bites from the SP. They fell for the bait and said that Modi Ji’s chest barb was a boast of a Chambal dacoit.

While I was assimilating the connection between chest flaunting and governance, I realized that we have a great choice for PM in beefy Uday Chopra. Other than abs and biceps, he had little else to show in Dhoom 3.
Why, even Himesh Reshamiyya is back after losing weight and pumping iron. Strangely, Himesh bhai’s case is like Rahul bhai’s in many ways. Both can spend 500 crores on image building and yet nothing changes. 

Image: www.ibnlive.in

 Since chest measurements are a prerequisite for good governance, I hear boys screaming Sunny, Sunny (Leone not Deol) and girls screaming Salman, Salman! Indeed, Salman was seen flying kites with the Iron Man who has similar chest size. Matching-matching.

It is not that Salman endorses Modi ji, heavens no. Salman was simply promoting Jai Ho! Strange that a movie previously called ‘Mental’ is being released as ‘Jai Ho’. If you get the connection between ‘Jai Ho’ and ‘Mental’ do let me know. Anyway, a Sallu movie has everything other than a plot. As long as beefcake thrusts pelvis in hundred funny ways and defies gravity, who cares whether we are watching Mental, Judgmental, Departmental, Sentimental or Accidental!

Kahan se Kharidi itni bakwaas dictionary, you ask? Well, dictionary be damned. Jibes in the form of new words are flying all around.

The Home Minister calls Kejriwal, ‘Yeda’, the BJP distributes ‘Peda’ and the media creates a ‘Bakheda’.

Who needs a reality show? News is good enough.

Image: facebook.com

Sholay - A 3D Sequel

Fade in. The sequel begins.

After ruling Ramgarh for over sixty years, Thakur Balwant Singh is now complacent and arrogant. As it happens, decades of unchallenged power can be intoxicating.

Once prosperous, the people of Ramgarh are suffering as Thakur’s men are busy looting coal, spectrum and the aam villager. His haveli in Lutyens’ Ramgarh is only for sycophants who sing paeans in his praise. Dour and uncommunicative, Thakur does not speak. When he speaks, it is to defend the indefensible. His silence seems a better option.Those close to Thakur, seek refuge in belligerence. Moreover, an aging Thakur is not in touch with Ramgarh’s changing demography.
As a result, Thakur anoints Chote Thakur as the caretaker of Ramgarh. But the villagers have had enough of Thakur and his family.They laugh when Thakur says, "Thakur Ka Haath, Aam Admi Ke Saath." For they know that Thakur lost his hands after 2009.
There are scenes where Ramgarh-wallas ask in hushed tones, “Why is Chote Thakur so precisely the opposite of his predecessors?” The answer eludes everyone - including the reluctant Chote Thakur."

Meanwhile challenge comes in the form of Babbar from Gujarat. Far away from Ramgarh, in his small village, Babbar is the new face of governance. His name is synonymous with development, literacy and empowerment. When residents of Ramgarh come to know about Babbar’s management skills, they decide to invite him to Ramgarh.

Clearly the wheel had turned full circle. 

Realizing that chickens were coming home to roost, Thakur begins scaring his own people. “Be very very scared,” says one of the ex-environment lieutenants of Thakur. “Be very scared of this Mass Murderer, Tea Seller, Hitler…”
Unfazed by Thakur's criticism, Babbar decides to challenge Chote Thakur. Anticipating a bitter climax, he anoints Samba as the poll manager of UP.



In this cocktail of conflict, flashes of comic relief come from a handful of Soorma Bhopalis, the spokespersons of Thakur from Madhya Pradesh and Stephens.

As the reel rolls, the arrival of Babbar looks imminent. Thakur tries to please villagers and throws a few crumbs( gas cylinders, food security etc). But villagers refuse to be treated as beggars. When doles prove ineffective, Thakur begins his search for Jai and Veeru.

Guess what? He finds them in Ramgarh. One day, Thakur discovers Jai and Veeru riding their Wagon R in the by lanes of Ramgarh. Dressed in a muffler and sandals, angry young Jai is a rebel with a cause. When he speaks you sense his honesty and integrity. Nothing else matters. His sidekick, Veeru, is a poet known for his poetic prowess.

Interval. 

www.firstpost.com

This is when the two leading ladies – Delhi and Amethi, brighten the movie with their presence.

Despite striking features, Delhi looks oddly vulnerable. Once a young and sassy woman, Delhi is repeatedly raped as Thakur’s men remain helpless bystanders. Several scars and dark spots have blemished her pretty face. Nevertheless, a cynical Jai is attracted towards Delhi. A tender yet violent romance brews between Delhi and Jai.

When Amethi’s character comes alive in the second half of the movie, Veeru woos her in style. He has eyes only for her. Like the conventional Bollywood heroine, Amethi spurns his advances initially. Each time Veeru faces rotten eggs, he croons, “Koi Haseena Jab rooth Jati Hai To Aur Bhi Haseen Ho Jaati Hai.” 

Unlike the original, characters in this 3D sequel are complicated. Innumerable side stories and dirty stings confuse the audience. And then there is the all pervasive media. 

Aadhe Thakur ke saath hai, aadhe Babbar ke saath, aur baki Jai-Veeru ke saath. Basically, they are with no one, but their spicy speculative stories.

The toll of this bitter conflict is telling on the citizens of Ramgarh. Most of them look like Rahim Chacha– confused and dazed.They are asking, "Itna shor kyon hai bhai?"

Want more?

Well, I had to take a loo break at this point. I just hope that the movie ends on a happy note.But there is no real ending, is there? It is just the place where we stop the story.


Picture Curtesy: photogallery. indiatimes .com 

Happy New Reader

From my aunt in Singapore to my nephew in Saharanpur – almost everyone is a writer. Is it because we have fallen in love with English Literature? Or is it because writing is the new cool tool of self-expression?
According to one publisher, the number of child authors has gone up by ninety percent. Let’s talk about the writers of books, and not about those writing on social media or blogs. Enthusiastic parents are spending lakhs, taking pride in creating books for kid's birthday. Some go as far as inviting the likes of Shobha De to launch their precocious prodigy.
If my kid ever writes a book, I am going to invite JK Rowling. Beat that! 

Like other instruments of fame, writing is much more than a badge of honor. When we write for an audience, unlike in our private diary, we give our best. So yes, writing is chicken soup for the brain. If you ask me, a better way to be more, is to know more - and not necessarily write more. A gifted young raconteur may possess exceptional imagination or storytelling prowess. But being a writer is also about being a reader of life, a reader of thoughts, a reader of society, and most importantly - a reader of other books.

Remember the bedtime stories so lovingly read by our parents? Irrespective of being a tedious affair, reading of bed time stories was an unspoken rule of some kind that parents indulged in. While narrating fables, the idea was to pass on the enthusiasm for reading along with doling nuggets of wisdom. Come to think of it, ‘A Thirsty Crow’ made clear how necessity is the mother of invention, ‘Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing’ taught us that appearances can be deceptive, and ‘One Eyed Doe’ put in plain words that trouble can come from the direction we least expect it to come from.
I wonder why we place an average writer on a higher intellectual pedestal than a voracious reader. In most middle-class homes with any pretense to education, being a writer of English language is considered ‘cool’. Is this because we are unable to exhibit our reading skills as easily as we can ‘show off’ our writing skills? Well, maybe. Frankly, I wish I was a better reader. I wish I had the patience to enjoy reading about art, culture, cinema, foreign affairs and a host of other topics. However, creative reading can be exhausting. Sometimes it can be more tedious than creative writing.

For a good reader has to fine-tune his wavelength with the writers pitch. He becomes one with the writer - melting into the pages, savoring words, latching on nuances, and regurgitating at leisure, if necessary. Edgy, impatient readers are, well, not the kind any writer wants. Much that is exceptional in literature remains unexplored in search of good readers.
If you think that those who write fiction are God's gift to mankind - wait. Even more powerful are those who write for newspapers and magazines. Such is the might of their keyboard that they can make or break reputations at will.
Now that you have come thus far, let me share a story.
A few months ago, I consulted a renowned doctor known for his low patience and high consultation fee. On the first visit he brushed me aside with a desultory glance, a mandatory check, and a few diagnostic tests. So the next time, I casually dropped the bit about being a freelance writer. Not only did I get preferential treatment but I actually saw admiration in his cold surgical eyes!
That said, it is not difficult to understand why writing is a new age fad. In an age of mercurial ambition and instant fame, the patience to relish gently cooked wisdom no longer exists. Then there is the pervasive social media where we want everyone to like ‘my picture’, read ‘my status message’ and re-tweet ‘my tweet’.
So, in a world full of self-obsessed adolescent writers, who is going to read or buy books?
It will be wonderful, of course, if all budding creators also become consumers. Then we will write more. And read more. Win-win.

Courtesy: Mail Today

(This piece is originally in Friday Gurgaon, 3-1-2014.)

An Open Letter

Open Letter to Kumar Vishwas

Why am I writing this letter? Well, because I wish you well. Firstly, I congratulate you and your party for changing the conventional way of playing politics. I congratulate you for re-kindling hope – hope for a positive change.

While I appreciate your confidence to stand for elections against Rahul Gandhi in Amethi, the tenor of your claim reeks of arrogance.

It is brave. But brazen.

I am no one to tell you that media attention can sometimes create notions of invincibility. You know it. No doubt, you have a realistic chance of winning against Rahul Gandhi from Amethi. Why, even a young Rakhi Birla can win against Priyanka if she decides to contest in the forthcoming elections. Well, maybe.

The timing is right. You and your party have rightfully seized the moment. Disillusioned with the political terra firma, we are willing to give honesty a chance. We are fed up with personalities over-shadowing issues. And for this reason alone, you should be wary of boasting that you can defeat anyone – be it Modi or Rahul.

Please don’t allow personalities to eclipse issues. Else, you sound like the other forever aspirants of power. Yes, you can defeat Rahul. But so can others like Khemka, Durga Shakti Nagpal or Santosh Hegde. Time is fertile for anyone who is perceived to have led an honest life or has taken up cudgels against corruption.

How about learning a thing or two from your own leader Mr. Yogendra Yadav? For me, Mr. Yadav is a speaker par excellence. When he speaks, I can sense the honesty behind purpose. I sincerely hope and wish to see Prof.Yogendra Yadav as the CM of Haryana some day.

You have a tough task ahead - the task of being popular and not populist. Your party has to empower people and not make them dependent. Doles and sops don't work in the interest of the nation or the Aam Aadmi. Empowerment does. It is a tight rope walk.
Moreover, with disgruntled politicians of different hues like Alka Lamba and Mr Kamaal Farooqi wanting to make the most of AAP fortunes, you have an uphill task of assuaging egos and managing ambitions. One way to go about it is by letting your work speak more than your angst.

Did I tell you that it is a pleasure to listen to your chaste Hindi in a world where Hinglish rules?  I first heard your poetry recorded in the mobile phone of an engineering student, way back in 2009. While the rendition was flawless, what amazed me was your connect with  the students. This connect, I believe will strengthen with humility and not with unnecessary bravado. 

I am hoping that the poet in you will not fall prey to the enticement of the microphone. Why allow the media circus to mess with your noble intentions? Because the only thing shorter than public memory is public euphoria. All it takes for the public to swing from adulation to admonition is one comment. Just one silly comment. Remember Anna’s slip of the slap – Ek Hi Thappad Maara?


In the twilight zone before 2014, you and your party need to hold together as a team. Humility has been your party’s hall mark. Let it continue to be so. Of all the people, you should know that humility is not thinking less of yourself - it is thinking of yourself less.

 Good luck.