Monday, November 8, 2010

The O Word

 If the visiting O word President from the United States utters the P word, we cry foul. And if he doesn’t, we cry murder. Barely twelve hours after the President landed, media sulked and complained, “He hasn't  mentioned the P word.” 

I mean why should he? Has he come here for Pak bashing?
I am dead sure that the P word country must be whining, “Why hasn’t he uttered the K word?” The  P country, they say depends on three A words. Allah, Army and America.

Why do we forget the fact that nations do not have morals? Nations have interests. 

The Indian media rambled and ranted. And finally a young girl with the G word (guts ) put Obama in a tight spot by asking a direct question on the P word. The lion walked straight into the net. Poor O! He ran in circles for full ten minutes and said nothing substantial. No wonder he is a Big O - Orator. After all, he is an erstwhile professor. 

He harped on the D word. He stated how India and the United States were the oldest and biggest democracies. He showered praises, confessing that the M word has been his inspiration. Manmohan? No. He is the Guru. Michelle? No. She is accompanying  him to show her deft moves. I loved the way she danced with the kids.
 The President was referring to Mahatma Gandhi. This beating around the bush is referred to as the D word - Diplomacy.
The media was abuzz. We are a curious nation. We love to speculate. The bespectacled Arnab was hyperventilating and behaving more like the Hindi channel Aaj Tak. Trying to spice up his debate, he insisted, “Why hasn’t Obama denounced the T word?” 

 Did he come all the way to denounce terrorism?

Wallowing in its own economic misery, Obama is visiting India for an all together different T word - Trade. He landed in the commercial capital of the country and not in the political one. He did not bring the Secretary of State, Hillary. Instead, on board the Air Force One were the top US business leaders.
The O word President is a worried man. The reason is another O word – Outsourcing. India’s B word silicon city has outsourced most of the jobs. More so, that chop-shop I word company.

We have to realize three things. 

First, that Obama has not come here for Pak bashing. In diplomacy real action takes behind the scenes. I am sure that the K word, the P word and the T word, all would be discussed behind closed doors. Not in the media.

Next, the world has changed to an extent that the twenty first century is called China’s century. Above all, with almost trillion dollars worth of its Treasury bonds being held by China, the US is more worried about the C word - China.

And last but not the least we have to deal with our own C word – Corruption.

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  1. amen
    add to it the media should also learn not to go overboard!

  2. WOW!!! You are a do you get such ideas in your head..I am a fan Alka.

    Keep writing such inspiring least someone is thinking....!

  3. Very sarcastic and creative post Alka !
    Well, my first comment could not be posted so here I am trying to post my views again.

    I had applauded when the collegian put forward that question to him about the P country :) I think we expect that no because we want it to be bashed but because we expect some action against terrorism (which sadly many times stems from that P country).

    Anyways, you were right that President O is there for another reason and The D is always there !

  4. @magic eye...I wish media had some patience. At the end he did say what people wanted. Weather it was coerced or rehearsed we do not know.

  5. @wecognize....Yes, we wanted him to condemn the T word. Also wanted to ask him about the dollars he is dolloping on the P country. But I guess more sensitive issues are discussed behind doors and not in the media. Media starts speculating and expects all the concerns to be addressed within minutes of landing.
    He did utter the P and the T-terrorism word in the Parliament. Thankfully he was careful about the K word...ha ha. Thank u for taking time and reading the post.

  6. Alka..... Obama landed in the financial capital, and not the political one.... rly good observation !

    like the way you write :D

  7. Really good post Alka... I read a story in one of the newspapers today titled aptly 'Obama says India has arrived. But has it?' Sadly, truth is 'No'. An emerging superpower and a 'customer' in this case dsnt obsess itself over Obama's mention of P/K words.. instead, it solves its problems on its own. Moreover, it makes it certain tht in today's order, we have the edge n not the US. Alas! we were too busy gettin charmed by Mrs Obama's dance steps.

  8. @Mayank...Yes instead of obsessing over certificates by others we should capitalize on our strengths. Unfortunately our bane is parochial leadership.

  9. The Big O with his now famous O skill arrived at our I as a Big S - salesman rather than anything else. And mission accomplished. Indian ego satisfied with the UN seat and mentioning of P world. Media had its share of TRP. Story over.

    - Lakshmi Rajan (

  10. Loved the way you played around with the alphabets - The P K T of politics. And before he left Big Daddy admonished us for our Myanmar follies. And we are crying foul.

  11. @Lakshmi....Very well put. With the French and Chinese visits lined up, media has its hands full.

    @Purba...Yes, we only want to hear the appreciation..How we have emerged as the greatest economic power(?) and how great our democracy is and what a great country we are.
    Like we eulogize ..Gurgaon is the Singapore of India - Crap.

  12. Totally absolutely utterly loved this post! Just how clever and seamless it is! And witty!

    Thanks for dropping by Intelligensia. :)

  13. totally rocks............!! good work kep writting !

    Jai HO Mangalmay Ho

  14. All we need to recognise ourselves instead of getting excited when we get a pat on our back.
    India needs to change---it will change soon.

    PS-welcome to gurgaon

  15. @BK Chowla Yes with friendlier FDI rules, transparency in awarding contracts and improving the record of implementation on ground added with a strong leadership will surely lead us there.

  16. Once again thumbs up! BTW you forgot the Media E Word - Exclusive. President O is addressing tens of media channels. A major news channel asks a really dumb question to the President. And guess what the channel displayed on their breaking news?
    President O speaks E (Exclusively) to Bla-Bla Channel :)