Monday, December 6, 2010

MUSH MUSH






He tenderly brushed a wisp of hair from her cheek. And she brushed a tear from his eye. The message on the cake was - I am me because of you.

As they were cutting the cake, these tender moments caught my attention. She, mid-way through the function, proceeded to remind him of his BP medication. And he, in turn cooed in her ears, “Be careful. If you dance any more, your feet will hurt.” Touching! After twenty five years, they were so much in love. She was a softer beauty, deepened with age and he was a perfect combination of salt and pepper hair with astute business sense.

Several dainty feet were groaning under the agony of high heels, intricate silks and heavy jewelry, desperately searching for respite. It was the twenty fifth anniversary celebration of a relative. Since it was a silver jubilee function and most couples were…well beyond their prime, the ghost of L’Oreal was omnipresent.

I was wondering, how the gurgling, bubbling rivulet of romance at sixteen, transforms into deeper still waters after a few decades. And still waters run deep.
Sure, candle light dinners, roses, chocolates and sipping champagne at sixteen are all magical. Yet these images are spoon-fed by movies, serials and advertisements. And an over-dose of such illusions are scary.

At sixteen the world is both, vivid and hazy. If my hubby had given me a rose at sixteen, I would have preserved the petals in some mushy book, fluttering my eyelashes coyly. However, if today he returns home from the office with a red rose in hand, I would burst out laughing, doubting his sanity. In case it’s not a rose but an expensive bouquet of orchids and lilies, I would doubt ‘daal mein kuch kala hai’.
Now you are thinking, ‘Seriously, God only knows what women want…Poor guy…He is damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t’.

Relax. At the risk of bristling like an old crow, I am trying to arrive at the point. Flowers and gifts on occasions are most welcome. Yet on other days a bed tea would be a better idea. Appreciation is desirable in actions, but poetry would be artificial. As romance matures and endures the test of time, it reaches another level where trust, faith and respect matter more than roses, chocolates and perfumes.
A mature romance is beyond looks, beyond bad hair days, beyond puffy eyes, beyond mood swings and much much beyond cellulite. It is non- judgmental. It is possessive, yet it gives you the space to flourish and to blossom. It just lets you be.

For me, the most touching act was when my husband donated blood for my dad’s operation. Flowers, roses and perfumes, none came within kissing distance. I absolutely do not agree when Shobha De says that youth and all things youthful are overrated. No they are not. Youth is magical. If it is overrated, it deserves to be. However, romance is timeless. It only appears in another dress. And as the evening twilight fades away, the sky is filled with stars. Stars which were invisible by the day.

28 comments:

  1. I agree with you Alka, youth is magical (dont know why Shobhaa De thinks it is overrated considering she has done a 'botox' to keep herself youthful) and romance timeles.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, this might look silly to say it when i have yet not touched my nineteens but this one really made me wish to simply jump to the age where romance will be beyond matching clips, high heels, saying mushy things and roses. Maturity in romance is pleasing and soothing.. Something where you don't have teenage lover's insecurities. A bliss in purest form. Seriously made me cry..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Romance is eternity. Romance is in the every tiny thing where love manifests itself. Romance is what stirs you in the deepest corner of your heart by the most mundane of a thing. And that only grows better with time, like wine. That's romance for me. And all of what your post just said.

    That name Shobha De is so beneath this wonderful post. Even when you were trying to make a point.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello Alka, this post is lovely and I comlpetely agree with you - ''mature romance is beyond looks, beyond bad hair days, beyond puffy eyes, beyond mood swings and much much beyond cellulite. It is non- judgmental. It is possessive, yet it gives you the space to flourish and to blossom. It just lets you be.''

    A while ago I had written a small post and published a poem that I once read in a book. Take a look: http://dilkibaatblogkesaath.blogspot.com/2010/10/love-grows-sweeter-with-age.html

    Always Happy

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Annapurna...Ha, ha you have hit the nail on the head.

    @Deepika..Wow...that's sweet.

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Cinderella...Thanks.
    Honestly, I am not a fan of aging malarkey like Ms De. I admire her style not the substance. She has the ability of keeping the reader engaged without saying anything.

    @Always Happy...Yes, I have read your poem. Its beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  7. NICELY SAID...Romance can nvr get old as age advances...its just d way of expressions matters at the given time...probably after experiencing myself in my life...i wud hve added much more...for now just waiting :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. And still waters run deep.
    A very mature and beautiful post. Liked it entirely, liked it a lot.

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

    ReplyDelete
  9. @Beyond Horizon...Enjoy every moment of what you have now.Its precious.Every stage has its own magic.


    @Blasphemous Aesthete...The fact that you like it means a lot.
    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lovely post Alka. But will have to disagree with you. Youth is a state of mind, it has no age. True I enjoyed my younger days but now I can sit back and relax, find time for things I had long ignored.

    Each decade you rediscover your relationship and it matures just like a fine wine.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I completely agree with what u have spoekn abt romance...romance is timeless and it evolves with time. Loved the post!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. REALLY ab bichare hubby ji kya karen.. if he did not get flowers then you will say he doesnot care and now that he gets hmmmm

    Men cant win CAN THEY :) he he hhe

    Romance is timeless .. DIL JAWAAN hona chahiye .. age means nothing... thats my take on life.. I am sucker for romance ..
    but romance is beautiful...

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
  13. @Purba, Ria....Yes, relationship matures just like fine wine.

    Nothing can beat the magic of youth. However they are two different stages, each magical in its own way.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  15. @Bikramjit....Ha,ha..Seriously, God only knows what women want…Poor guy…He is damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t’.


    And men never grow old...they become big boys.
    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Maybe I never came across matured post like yours but I get sick of reading people quack about love in their own funny ways. Stupid poems/ stories. I started reading your post from 'Relax'- the fourth last paragraph- and could not help appreciating the basics that you have put forth. Thank you for such a wonderful writeup :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. @sritatsat...I guess this emotion has been done to death...People interpret it in different ways, depending on their life situations.

    Your words mean a lot.Thanks for spending time.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. you know this exactly what i would wish for me when i have grey hair and he starts running out of breath climbing stairs!! beautifully written and such honest and personal thoughts !!

    lovely

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sounds like you married a good man. I wish all the same degree of good fortune.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Bful post :) .. Loved the last para the most.. An absolute truth :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. @Alpha Za...Touche!

    @DG...:)Thanks, that is William Wordsworth.

    ReplyDelete
  22. what a soft expression description....great going alka...

    ReplyDelete
  23. I'm such a sucker for mush! Damn me!

    Lovvvvved it!

    ReplyDelete
  24. beautiful! sooo agree wid u..*reminds me of my mom n dad* :-)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Debe tener en cuenta que no todos los bolsos baratos disponibles en el mercado están hechos con material de la mejor calidad. Ciertos fabricantes se comprometen con la calidad de los productos, para ofrecerlos a precios bajos. (etiquetas: Bolsos Michael Kors,Bolsos Michael Kors Baratos,Bolsos Michael Kors Outlet)

    Dessa grossister kommer också att erbjuda dig ett brett utbud av alternativ att välja mellan, med avseende på färg, storlek, material och design. Dessutom kan du även få dem skräddarsydda, genom att komma med en handväskedesign på egen hand. (Taggar: Väska Michael Kors,MK Väska,Michael Kors Rea)

    Si vous vous assurez que les sacs à main bon marché que vous achetez sont fabriqués par un fabricant réputé, à partir de matériaux de la meilleure qualité, vous pouvez être certain qu’ils dureront longtemps. Les femmes dans le monde d'aujourd'hui ont besoin de transporter beaucoup de choses avec elles, où qu'elles aillent. (Mots clés: Sac Longchamp Pas Cher,Sac Longchamp Solde,Sac Longchamp Pas Cher)

    ReplyDelete