Tuesday, March 22, 2011

HEAVY PETTING



Let me begin by sharing a story. A man wrote a letter to a small hotel where he had planned a vacation.

“I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?”

The hotel owner replied. “I have been operating this hotel for decades and I have never had a dog steal towels, linen, cutlery or silverware. I have never had to evict a drunken dog and I have never had a dog run out on the bill. Yes, indeed your dog is welcome. And if your dog will vouch for you, you are welcome too.”

Considering the fact that dogs are faithful, do not throw kerosene on fellow dogs to burn them alive, rape puppies or take bribes, they surely are on a higher moral pedestal.

In my apartment complex, pet pee in elevators or pet poop on walkways is not the pet peeve any more. It is an entirely different take on heavy petting.

Imagine a sun kissed spring morning. A group of women with streaked hair and tights are performing yoga in the open lawns of a sprawling gated complex. When they inhale and exhale the world appears even more beautiful, even more peaceful. The class ends and the ladies lie down on their expensive mats in shavaasana, perfectly still and completely blissful. Suddenly one of them feels a sniffing face next to hers. She even feels the saliva dripping on her forehead. She shrieks. It is Laila. Now, Laila, is the privileged stray dog, the bone of contention between two groups of residents.

Strangely, Laila is male but has been named so, by some imaginative kid, overawed by the jawani of a phonetically sounding similar name. Laila refuses to leave the complex even though hysterical security guards run after her oops him with sticks. A group of residents want Laila to stay within the complex. No, they will not have her as a pet in their house but insist on ‘humanitarian grounds’ that Laila stays within the premises. Whereas, the rival group wants the stray out of sight. They fear that the precedent could allow monkeys, buffaloes and cows in the complex. You think it is a trivial issue? Laila’s case was presented before the ultimate champion of all four legged and winged ones - Maneka Gandhi. Laila being essentially male is absolutely enjoying all the attention and continues to drool over pretty women and growl at cute Pomeranian's of the society. I say go Laila go….have fun. Let the gloves come out, let people break bones and fight for your cause.

http://www.finalstand.org/final/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=203:visit-report-heritage-city-gurgaon&catid=35:projects&Itemid=65


Mark Zuckerberg’s puppy named Beast has his own page on Facebook. Once you become a billionaire your pet dog, hamster, cat or python, all become famous and move to the higher echelons of the society. So when the status message on the profile reads, ‘I just took a dump and Mark picked it up. It was glorious,’ thousands press the like button. Beast has more than sixty five thousand fans already. I envy you Beast. Here I am slogging away for a few comments and there you have a billionaire write for you while you enjoy that siesta.

When President Roosevelt announced, ‘You can criticize me, my wife and my policies but not my dog,” a precedent of presidential pets was created in the United States. No doubt Obama’s ‘Bo’ is the first dog of the United States, more privileged and more powerful than most.
News is that a pregnant Mariah Carey has reportedly engaged a shrink to prepare her pets for the arrival of her twin babies. Well, the pampered pooches shouldn’t feel rejected when her own twin babies arrive. If she is out partying, she can of course drop her pooches to a New York discotheque, recently inaugurated for dogs and dogs only. Humans not allowed. I wonder if the DJ is a Rottweiler. Imagine carefully coifed pooches and thoroughbred pups shaking a leg at Manhattans first doggie disco. And what’s more, tired dancing doggies can refuel on ‘poochi sushies’ or take a break after retiring in a special Zen room.

I say it is all well deserved. After all as the cliche goes ‘Every Dog has his Day.’

41 comments:

  1. Absolutely love this one!

    Mark adopt me please? I may not have tale, I promise not to be loyal but at least I can write my status updates!

    Even my daughter's school has a privileged stray! Follows the princi to the stage and spends rest of the day in her airconditioned office. All the students are jealous of that dog :D

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  2. @Purba...ha, ha....As in Heritage, Park View has a similar story....only it hasnt reached Maneka as yet.....

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  3. Heavy petting indeed!! A Japanese dog who refused to leave his injured friend is in news these days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=J3TM9GL2iLI

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  4. @Giribala...Thats an interesting link...another dog saved the owner from being raped I read. Definitely higher moral pedestal.

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  5. Haha! Loved it. Celebrity Dog lives far much better life than celebrity himself. Rofl at Purba Ma'am's comment. I too want my fan page with over 1 lakh likes.
    I totally loved the Hotel Management reply to the letter. :P

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  6. LOVED the anecdote at the start... is there any doubt that dogs are better than us in so many ways ?

    http://godyears.blogspot.com/2006/06/dogyears-godyears.html

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  7. First dog is a great concept. We should introduce it here too.

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  8. Only a dog lover knows how faithful they are.

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  9. Hello Alka

    interesting read! I agree that dogs are lovely creatures but smart people have made dog care into a thriving business, hitting on the emotions of innocent dog lovers.. i liked this article :)

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  10. I totally vouch for what Mr. B K Chowla has said. Dogs r the best pet one can have, i love dogs!! :) Nice write up btw.

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  11. @Prateek...How many can Mark adopt...lol?

    @Pthyroroshan...Read your article. Delightful read.

    @Harish...Its debatable. Whose dog will be the First Dog...Presidents, PMs or Sonias? Rashtrapati Bhavan, 7 Race Course or 10 Janpath?

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  12. @BKC....No doubt.


    @AS...Hello, I am really glad that u liked it.Thanks. Sincerely appreciate.


    @Ria....:)Tnks

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  13. I am not asking him to adopt, I am forcing him. :P

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  14. @Prateek...ha, ha..If this is your deepest desire then I hope he does adopt u. You also get to be cuddled by Pricilia Marks girlfriend...count me as one of ur 65000 fans..

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  15. Dogs are the best pet , a dog and a horse they are so faithfull and go to exptreme efforts and do anythign for there master..


    loved the reply given by the hotel people yeah if humans can be like the dogs world will be a better place to live :)

    Bikram's

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  16. We can have a first dog, firster dog and then a firste st dog.

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  17. @Harish....ha ha...But you know which one will rule...surely firstest one at ten Janpath.



    @Bikram...:)Yup. Pups rule.

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  18. Because I am allergic to cats and dogs...I stay away....

    But it was a good post

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  19. And because dogs don't bite at castes and names, they'll sure have a happy place there. Carefree, and a riot, party.

    Nice article. I'll make sure my dog goes to the most esteemed dog circles of the town, once it happens. :)

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  20. Your writing is fluid and has certain lilt about it. The humour is subtle and carries maximum impact. You convey the point quickly and simply without resorting to histrionics. Keep on writing, Lady. I'll keep reading.

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  21. hahaha..some dogs sure are lucky :D

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  22. Good one, same case is with my doggie too. I am kinda jealous of her. Its lent season here and we dont eat non-veg. But, my mom coolly prepares non veg for me doggie and feeds her till she is tired to eat! :)

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  23. @A...Thanks...


    @Blasphemous Aesthete...Honestly Laila is creating a riot in our complex.

    @Umashankar...Coming from someone with masters in literature from Lkw Univ..it means a lot. Sicerely appreciate. THANKS!

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  24. @Ram Pyari...Thanks for reading and visiting the blog.



    @Anto..Your doggie is surely a privileged one...Jealous?

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  25. Wow this post certainly taught me a lot. Disco for doggies?
    Like that famous story of Hachiko goes, a dog is certainly a man's best friend and the most faithful companion ever. A human may betray you but a dog would never. :)
    I hope Laila's situation gets resolved soon and he finds a good home.

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  26. Hey Alka,

    Once again a well written post.

    Thanks for sharing.
    Ashvini

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  27. we had adopted a mongrel when he was 2months old from the streets of mumbai and he has been with us for the past 8 years and won the hearts of the neighbourhood! even he has his own blog http://petsalways.blogspot.com
    and now has friends/admirers all over the world!

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  28. hi alka,
    not a very 'pet person' but loved this post...hilarious as always!
    i so love to subtle sarcasm that is so your forte now.
    and the little story in the beginning was a riot in itself:-)

    sharing it now

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  29. @Samadrita...love ur name. What does it mean?..Lailas matter is in the courts...

    @Ashwini...Thanks.


    @Magiceye....Oh really...mark is not the first one..wow.


    @Suruchi...Thanks.

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  30. Great post. Dogs are very loyal no doubt. :)

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  31. I love play dogs. Nice post

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  32. beautiful post
    dog and name, story enjoyed every line

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  33. @Talha....Thanks for reading...hope ur little one is fine now.


    @Asma...Thank u dear.


    @SM....Am glad u liked it. Thanks.

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  34. absolutely enjoyed this. Loved the bit about the doggie disco! I agree with Umashankar about your felicity with words. Write on.

    Btw, I am not getting the posts in my email these days. that is one of the reasons I comment late.
    could you please check?

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  35. great post...nice read :-)

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  36. @Zephyr...I will check...I am thinking of moving to Wordpress. Its okay if you reply late. From now on I will write only one post every week or ten days.Thanks, am glad you liked it.


    2SUB..Welcome here. Thank you.

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  37. dogs are the best pets- loyal and faithful. I loved the humor in your post -- very cheeky :). But, there are some people who just do not know how to keep pets. They will let their dogs out to do their business on other's lawns. They would not clean up after their dogs, and their dogs would be barking their heads off day and night at the slightest sounds. Such dogs deserve to be thrown out along with their owners. If a dog is bad; the onus often lies with a bad owner.

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  38. Annually during my home visit i too get these sights over there in Gurgaon. LIKE MY RECENT WRITE UP ON PLATFORM CHILDREN WHICH HAD HAUNTED ME FOR LONG.These silky and muscular hounds too haunt for long, might be inspired by your write up or sights i may choose the same topic next time,great!

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  39. Oh! Never knew Marks' dog has a page of his own...

    and its true when there is new arrival of a member in family, the dogs has to be petted well more...kind of creates jealousy in them too

    And am enjoying imagining dogs making dancing moves on the floor ;)

    I guess am late this time over here...sorry for that
    :)

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  40. Alka,

    A serious issue put across with lot of wit. Stray animals do become a hazard if not controlled effectively. Please ask those who favour keeping Laila in the complex, would they clean his poop done infront of someone's entrance door? We have been keeping dogs for a long time and it is etiquette that you do not let your pet filthy up paths or playgrounds. I have personally cleaned up if our dog did it where it should not have been done. If you make one place for feeding stray dog or dogs, they will normally stick to that place. Secondly it is necessary to control increase of their population. When I see someone getting scared of stray dogs, I tell him or her not to be but be cautious of two legged dogs. Even stray dogs will not attack unless provoked. You can scare away barking dogs by simple action like picking up stone. Hope we keep faith in live and let live.

    Take care

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  41. This was a delicate issue going on here in chandigarh nowadays. Stray dogs or animals are needed as much as the aren't. Some want that police should take them away somewhere far, but few still want them around, maybe same case that of laila. So many issues and so competent goverment to take care of these issues.

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