Friday, March 18, 2011


I have always wanted to know what it feels like to be a man holding his wife’s handbag, waiting outside a trial room in a mall teeming with women. And then as the wife emerges and gently hurls that dreaded bomb, “What do you think” does the man have options?

Long ago I did ask my husband about it but he brushed aside the topic. ‘That of which we cannot speak, we must remain silent’, he says. I understand. The predicament of evading uncomfortable questions with guarded answers can be daunting.
The gut feeling is that such a situation could be a nightmare for most men. As a result now I prefer to shop alone. Though, it is a possibility that some men might enjoy the entire experience of family shopping. But they are mostly the newly married ones who are intoxicated by the novelty of marital bliss. Once the novelty of it all fades, the brutality of it all sinks in. Anyways, kudos to those who endure the entire experience and dare to be candid!

However, if you want honest advice on how the dress is looking on you, or how you are looking in that dress, then go with your mother, sister or a friend. Even the maid is not a bad idea in desperate situations. Spare the husband. Men are used to asking for the color and size, and pronto, their job is done. Whereas shopping for women is a cumbersome, complex ritual which requires patience and leisure both.

It so happened that while I was waiting at the cash counter, I witnessed the plight of a Levis clad, Polo adorned man maneuvering a pram with one hand and conversing on his blackberry with the other. His petite and perky wife strutted in and out of the trial room.
“How does this look?”

It amounted to asking the obvious. Hmm.., hmm.., umm.The  guy was cautiously nodding his head to whatever wifey and the person on his phone was saying. It was clear as UPAs conscience that the guy’s heart was somewhere else and he needed desperate evacuation. But his infernal agony did not stop here. The toddler in the pram started crying for attention. If it was his boss on the line; my heart goes out to the poor guy. Handling two bosses and a bawling baby, all at a time can be pretty nerve racking.
For a minute, my wayward imagination took me on the man’s mental roller-coaster. I could hear the voices strumming in his head. You know something like ‘raaz pichle janam ka…’

“Only for the fact that she ticked me off for leaving that wet towel on the bed…. I wish I could tell her that her contours are bulging out of this dress. The pizza which she gorged on yesterday is resting on her derriere. Anyways she has two similar dresses. What’s the point of buying a new one?"
"My mom saw me ironing her blouse yesterday. I have never ever ironed clothes or made tea. My mum never let me. But look at me now? Those seven swings around the fire and life changes.

The hot chick that passed by smiled at my plight, and not at me. Who would look at a man holding a bawling baby?

If only she makes up her mind, we can go and watch the remaining match. That is if I manage to get the remote…”

My imagination is going wild but I am sure you get the drift. Surely the guy is not thinking, “Ahh.. the sweetie charms of my gorgeous wife. What fun it is to select a dress for my beloved.”

Alas! He will not speak. All these voices brimming in his head will be muffled the moment wifey makes up her mind. And then he will graciously hand over her handbag and take over the shopping bags.


  1. Alka, must admire your keen observation and insightful thinking. Waiting at the dressing booths is sometimes a good source of entertainment as well. When another woman comes out of the adjacent dressing booth and while you are wondering how could she pick such a dress, you see her husband nodding his head in affirmative :)

  2. @Ravi...coming from experience?

  3. A man feels "very very very happy" holding bags waiting for his wife to come out of trial room. It is hard to explain his pleasure in words...haha

  4. @Ravi....Now this is a you watch other women emerging in outrageous outfits ..Hope wifey is not reading this...:):)

    @A...I can sense the simmering resentment from this very very honest confession...:)

  5. Nice one Alka!! Guys, stay away from our dressing room area :-/

  6. Well, I never said "outrageous" could be any dress which does not suit her! Of course, Arti would immediately know when such an incident happens since an it's entertainment for both of us :)

  7. Haha...i like it Alka. i like the man's mind reading that you presented ''mom saw me ironing the blouse yday'' haha and also what did the hot chick think of me. Who did you refer to as hot chick considering that you were actually feeling sorry for the man!!

    good read for me.

  8. Hilarious. I am sure my sweetheart will agree with each word you said!

  9. I'd say your observation is incomplete; ask men how do they feel standing outside the trial room with hanging Pantaloons bags on both of their arms amidst so many females.

    PS- I said men, NOT me. :P

  10. @Alka,

    See the quotes around some words and if you get a chance read my story - you can reach to it - through Short Story tabs

    "I am sick, I am tired but I want to.."

    Also see if you can read

    "A Man shall never say to his wife.."

  11. @Giribala..Thanks.


    @Always Happy...Hmm...... leave alone hot, am no more a chick But the guy was not bad at all...


    @Prateek...Would love to get a mans perspective.Ravi here has provided an interesting angle...

  12. hahaa.... well i think some of them may like standing there when those stuff not belongs to their wife in particular.... :P

    BTw enjoyed the read... its a good take on the situation out there.

  13. Hilarious post. :) Wife rules the roost. :D

  14. I m sure a lot many guys must be nodding their heads after reading this post, nicely written.

  15. @Irfanuddin...Am glad you likes it.

    @Ajay..Urban women are ruling the roost, most other women are not so fortunate.


  16. that was colourful thinking for a colourful holi!!

    holi aayee re!!

  17. What a man thinks after the question?? You have intonated it so good...hilarious!!!

    Happy Holi to you too :)

  18. Alka,

    What a way to project what must be going on his mind! I can not comment as I have never been in that situation. But life does change after marriage, that is for sure.

    Take care

    PS : Left comment on previous post also.

  19. You have, as usual, devastated the subject of your post in accurate strokes!

  20. yes it will depend up on the life style of male child and his up bringing.
    nice post

  21. @magiceye...Yes, Holi hai!


    @Jack..Thanks, appreciate your spending time.

  22. @umashankar....You didnt tell me if you have had to undergo such a trial near the trial rooms...

    @sm....Thanks, am glad you liked it.

  23. Guess my husband is the rare one. Never loses patience even as I try umpteen number of dresses. I never tire of seeking out his opinion. True,I don't always pay heed to it and can be stubborn at times.

    Shopping with girls is fun too but I always get back home with a bunch of crazy things!

  24. I am sure he misses his days of bachelorhood like hell, specially if it was a love marriage. :P

    Happy Holi Alka :)

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  25. Hey there, looks like you have got yourself a neat little award.

    Check it out:

  26. wow...i prefer going shopping alone too...but not when there is a big event coming up and i need approvals...that way my man is kinda reliable...

    i simply have to ask me..sach batana, u don't want other guys to be laughing at YOUR wife and then i get an honest opinion.

    you know, we women already know what looks good on us and what don't..we just seek for an approval stamp before making the choice WE find agreeable...

    great post again alks:)

  27. hahaha ROFL what a predicament :P women change their lifestyles after marriage, so whats the big deal when it comes to men :P nahh i will never spare ;) hehehe
    enjoyed reading the post :D

  28. hahaha True it is better to shop with a female of similar tastes. I sometimes shop for clothes with my hubby, and he gives it back candidly :). That is the reason why I prefer his opinion. He tells upfront if something does not fit well or if the color does not suit well. The problem comes when the woman is unable to take the candid comment :). But, he does get bored sometimes too ;-).

  29. Men folk are very happy waiting outside trial rooms.
    I can vouch for it

  30. Somting I can't understand....My sis goes for a new dress every time someone invites her for a marriage...and the funny thingis there little probablity tht we will make it to the function

    And shopping with her is a nightmare...if i refuse i wl have to counter her argument of brotherly responsiblities!!

  31. @purba...u r blessed.


    @A Great honoured. Thanks.

  32. @Suruchi...yup u r right and I love my one has called me that...alks.

    @rajlakshmi...Yes, why should women adapt to all the brutality after the novelity.

    @rachna...U r lucky..

  33. @BKC...Thats a candid comment.

    @Jon...Already suffering and not even married as

  34. reallly.. but you forget the credit card comes handy especially if its HIS :) he hehehe

    I hate shopping ...


  35. LOL!! this was fun to read...i guess every married/committed guy has thought this way at one point or the other..its a pity they cant really think aloud isn't it? ;p

  36. LOL what imagination! Actually you have accurately gauged the mind of the man -- outside the trial room. The L&M has a stock reply to any queries: theek hai. If I press further, he comes out with, 'What difference does it make?' uh..??

    I shop alone too. :)

  37. @PRI...The expression on the face says it

    @Zephyr....ha ha..yes thats the standard reply...How does it matter? Uh...? And change of

  38. The imagination of the going-on's in the mind was simply innovative!!

  39. My hubby is my critic.. so whatever he says i took it Iin different way, but we always shop together pulling and making fun.