The Curious Case of Rampal
Rampal, a poor farmer always thought that the idol in his village temple had supreme powers. However, after repeated media reports he realized that his God was not supreme. There was something called the ‘Parliament’ that was supreme. Naturally Rampal wanted to see the Supreme Body. On reaching Delhi he was told that that the parliament had been disrupted. A disheartened Rampal decided to witness an ‘all party meet’ for a close ‘darshan’ of the supreme members who throng the hallowed precincts. But Rampal was denied entry at the all party meet. A disheartened Rampal sat on a hunger strike outside the meeting venue.
Some excerpts from the all party meet:
Chairperson: Baith jaiye, baith jaiye. Shant ho jaiye.
M Ban-nerjee: No. Our stand is a clear NO.
Chairperson: Madam, please listen to the agenda of the debate before giving your reactions.
M Ban-nerjee: I don’t care about the agenda. NO means NO. However, if you give us a Bengal package we can re-think. Derek will explain things on my behalf. That you will end up even more confused after his explanation is another matter. This Rampal fellow is a Maoist.
Chairperson: Honorable members, today we have to debate whether we should allow Rampal, ‘a commoner’ to witness this all party meet.
Bring-loo Yadav: Arre who is this Rampal? How can he claim to represent the peepool of this country? I am yet to recover from the nightmares of Lokpal and you are talking about Rampal.This appears to be some inter-nasnal conspiracy.Arre Mr Karat pleej check if this fellow Rampal is a CIA agent?
Behen Illusion-wati : Why should Rampal witness this meeting of supreme members ?According to the wishes of Manyawar Kanshi Ram ji, I will allow Rampal free entry in any of my parks. He can also click pictures next to the marble elephants.It will solve all his problems.
Sush-mother ji: We strongly oppose the entry of the common man. Today he wants to be a mute witness; tomorrow he will want to participate in the discussions. When we were in power, Congress had objected to the entry of Dharampal, hence we reject the entry of Rampal. How can the ruling party forget their promise of 'the sense of the meeting'?
Now-shake Singhvi: We rejected Dharampal because you had rejected RajPal in 1976. Let me tell you that Article 999 says that no ‘Pal’ with religious connotations can witness our meetings. Let me also quote clause 444, which says that members are not bound to respect the ‘sense of the meeting’. Please note Sush-mother ji, that clause 444 is separated by a semi-colon and not a comma. Hence the ‘sense of the meeting’ stands nullified.
Bring-loo Yadav: (Shouts) This is my nasun, our nasun. Arre bhai, even angrez left my nasun before I was born. Tell Rampal to win an election and then come here. Bhe will not allow communal forces inside the Parliament.
Chairperson: Baith jaiye, baith jaiye. Shant ho jaiye. Those in favor of Rampal’s entry may say Aye.. ..
I think the noes have it, the noes have it.
Softy Singh Yadav : (mumbles for full thirty minutes) Is Rampal a dalit, OBC, Christian or minority? Tell him to change his name to Rahimpal. I will then personally escort him to the meeting.
Sush-mother ji: This is wrong. You are advocating a second Partition. We will not allow this.
Ca-pill Sibal: (with angelic innocence) But YOU invited Rampal for this meeting, how can you go back on your promise? Who has created this Frankenstein monster called Rampal? Let me quote article….
Sush-mother ji: We invited Rampal with conditions. Now the conditions do not suit us. And since we reject Rampal’s entry, you have lost all moral right to rule this country. Your PM must resign.
Bring-loo Yadav: Aree bhai, I have come to know that Rampal has nine wives, how can we allow non-minority pepool with nine wives. Tomorrow all his nine wives will want to become Chief Ministers, then who will be responsible?
Mr. Bring-loo Yadav's deputy tears Rampal’s application in anger. Both Softie Yadav and Bring-loo Yadav walk out of the meeting.
After two decades of deliberation, when Rampal finally got permission to meet the supreme members, a registered letter reached his village. His wife told the postman, “Owing to huge debts, Rampal committed suicide five years ago.”