Friday, May 2, 2014

Dance India Dance



The world is watching our dance of demo-crazy. And I am not talking about Kevin Spacey doing the lungi dance at IIFA, or  John Travolta showing his signature steps with Priyanka Chopra. Across the country, people have put on their dancing shoes, and are swaying to the electoral beats. From hip-hop to salsa, from ballet to belly dancing, and from tango to twist – every move is synchronized by way of political symbolism.

Which is why Priyanka Gandhi is performing a solo ballet act, after her brother was unable to enthrall the audience. In sync with aggressive sound bites, her moves have captured the imagination of a hyperactive media obsessed with sensational dance forms.  Ironical how the media follows the first family like a love stricken puppy, but questions dynastic politics in their studios!

Meanwhile actor-politician Chiranjeevi was showing his pompous moves by jumping the queue at a polling station when a techie  politely told him to wait for his turn. The audience broke into a rapturous applause. And an embarrassed Chiranjeevi realized what the dance of democracy was all about.

 Another sixty-seven year old politician, known for his irrepressible tongue stunned everyone with his irrepressible, well, umm… twerking. His B-boying inspired such yuva josh, that his contemporaries are now taking classes on how to ‘jive with journos’. 
 Moving on, we know that AAP’s detests Modi ji”s aerial act in Adani’s aircraft, but wonder what they have to say about Modi Ji’s octogenarian mother alighting from an auto to cast her vote. It definitely takes two to tango, be it Ambani-Adani, or Rajnath-Modi, but Kejriwal takes this dance of demo-crazy to another level. Before showing his moves, he first asks the people, “Should I dance from here?” And regardless of the answer he breaks into a righteous step. Currently, he is swaying to the tunes of Chora Ganga Kinare Waala, of course, minus Zeenat Aman.

Since all his contemporaries were perfecting their dance moves, Farooq Saab took to the dance floor ‘Paso Doble’, Latin style. Playing the aggressive matador he said ‘those who vote for Modi should drown in the sea’. While we know that the red cloth was for the saffron brigade, I wonder if age has something to do with the fetish for this foot-in-mouth step. My doubts were quelled when a quiz master displayed his dirty moves by calling Modi a butcher of Gujarat. Now Derek is not a dancer, not anymore than Farooq is a belly dancer. So why did he dance like nobody’s watching? Perhaps he thought ABCD padh li bahut, ab karunga mein gandi baat.

Ever since Arun Jaitley announced his candidature from Amritsar, he is speaking Punjabi, doing bhangra and watching Luv Shuv Te Chicken Khurana. Don’t be surprised if you see him  gyrating to “I to go crazy ke jab vazde Punjabi wedding song. Meanwhile Jayalalitha is quietly practicing her Rumba to beat Mamata at her own mercurial tandav. 
When the music reaches a crescendo and this dance fest culminates, we shall see a fusion performance by various artists. The winner might surprise us all. Regardless of who wins the trophy, choreographing a billion steps is going to be a daunting task. 
 Image Courtesy: AFP News
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49 comments:

  1. Yeah, the dance of democracy....

    Very nicely presented here. Aren't we all waiting to check the finals on May 16th?

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    1. Thanks Kajal. Good to see you here.

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  2. Hahaha! So, now WHO is going to be the Indian Idol? :P

    Apropos of Kejriwal, No Zeenat will take the chance of dancing with him with Somnath Bharti looking on :)

    Loved the demo crazy :) OR is all of this only a crazy demo for the real thing that will start after May 16? THEN may start all the 'who to tango with?' for a coalition government - probably with Kejriwal playing the Prima Donna turned reluctant bride to someone :)

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    1. Ha ha...good one about Bharti. Though I doubt if Kejriwal will play Prima Donna, could be Jaya, Mamata or Maya.

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  3. Fun read this, Alka! Demo crazy indeed! This is such a circus!

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    1. Circus is the word, Rachna. Thanks.

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    1. Thank you Karan. Glad you like this.

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  5. Glad that India is diverse with different languages and dances to keep its audience entertained by gawky people like our politicians ;)

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    1. True, diverse dance forms choreographed to perfection. Hopefully.

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  6. Alka, this is one of the funnest (is that even a word?) posts that I've read in a long time. And especially so, because I hardly talk or write about Politics in general. IT takes a lot for me to even touch with a barge pole. But this one's going to be a definite share. The dance of Demo-crazy indeed !

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    1. Thanks Sid. My political posts are not as popular as my personal ones. Somehow I can't resist from writing about politics. The challenge is to make it witty and interesting. And when readers like you appreciate and share my posts, it becomes even more rewarding.

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  7. While I loved the post quite a bit, I will be honest with you when I say that I well and truly am sick and tired of all this campaigning and dancing that's been pasted all over televisions for approximately a year now. C'mon now already, when'll it be May 17th :)

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    1. I know what you mean. We have had too much dirty, mindless, opportunistic political khichdi. After a point it leads to indigestion. Feeling the same. Enough.

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  8. Await to see the winner of this dance contest! We already have had an overdose of cricket and the 'dirty dancing'!

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    1. Yeah, Rahul. Enough. Waiting for May 16,2014.

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  9. hahah who could have thought of this!! The political drama dance!! How about the singers now!

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  10. Indeed the salsa, rumba and bhangra of democrazy. And we will have to bear it till the end of may. Btw half of the middle aged and avove men are deeply jealous of Diggi.

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    1. Yeah, half are optimistic and half are jealous.
      :)

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  11. Hahaha....Witty...Indian Political Dance...

    The fusion performance @ finale would have some special appearances/ performances (free style dal-badlus).

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    1. Some like Paswan have already abandoned the sinking ship.Opportunists!

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  12. Very well put.. I have got some forwards , some video's where modi-manmohan - rahul and other leaders are dancing their heartout and all the pallava..

    but the sad part is that all these people are exactly same and they have to do this dance for a few days and then they make us dance for FIVE long yearssssssssss :)

    Bikram

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    1. After May 16, no one is going to care about the audience. They will dance to their own music.

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  13. Wow! Amazing post and you've summed it up very well! DId you see Modi's dance with his own selfie after he voted! An amazing run this time at the ballot! Can't wait to see the finale on May 16th!

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    1. Really hope that acche din aane waale hain.

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  14. ROFL! You and only you could gave written something so good as this! I have been travelling a bit with limited access to the blogging world but when I saw this show up in my feed just now I knew I had to drop everything else and read it.. must pat myself on the back for making such a sound choice I tell you :)

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    1. Thank you Seeta for reading this amidst hectic traveling. Means a lot.

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  15. Alka, this is a real shot of our demo-crazy. Every one is dancing to prove his/her worth. The poor Janta will again be taken for a ride for the next five years. Whether it R or A or M., all are alike. Ab to Ram hi bachai

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    1. So good to see you here ma. Hope you are doing well.

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  16. Am dancing to your words....wonderful. And when they lose, I guess they will say - aangan teda.

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    1. Feels good to see you here Janaki. And your 'wonderful' makes me feel really wonderful.

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  17. The dance of democracy ! I wonder how it will end !

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    1. Whoever wins, I hope Achche Din Aane Waale Hain.

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  18. You know Alka,even as they dance they make the gullible dance to their tunes.

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    1. Truly Indu, dance of demo-crazy it is!

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  19. On the 16th May....it will be TANDAV NRITYA

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    1. I hope it is an effortless salsa. Enough tandav already.

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  20. Can I just say, what a delightful post and I wish I could award you the Tandav Ratna before I proceed to read your write-up once again?

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    1. I know that you say it as it is. Your 'delightful' delights me.
      Thanks Purba.

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  21. Hah! In that case, I can't wait for Saroj Khan to stake her claim at Prime Ministership. After all, everyone, from Maya to Jaya seems to be at it!

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    1. Noooo...Saroj Khan is not in tune with a young nation. How about Shiamak Dawar?

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  22. Different shapes and shades of Lungi Dance this Lok Sabha season, I tell you? I wonder whether Farah Khan and the others will be out of job with so much twist..ao twist kare Lok Sabha ka season. Great take, Alka and delightful, yummy post for the innocent heart:)
    http://vishalbheeroo.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/z-for-zeitgeist-a-to-z-april-blogging-challenge/

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  23. sorry bad link, Alka. Here is the correct one
    http://vishalbheeroo.wordpress.com/2014/05/03/special-big-boss-episode-pumps-lok-sabha-battle/

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  24. Wow! I could actually imagine the Rumba and the Jive! Lets see whats in store for us on the day of the grand finale!

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    1. Yes, the suspense is killing even though we have a fair inkling of what's in store.

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  25. Ha!Ha! Good one Alka :-D :-D

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  26. Good one Alka, I can just imagine the people you have mentioned doing Rumba, Salsa, Jive, Tango, maybe even a tandav or two. Waiting eagerly for the grand finale to see the winners.

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